The Extras
by Quinhwyvar
Summary: Drabbles based in the middle of the story "Strike Down the Ibis". The misadventures/aggravation of an Espada and his fraccion. Not Ulq/OC
1. The Battish Knight

**PLEASE NOTE:**

**These oneshots are based off of my story "Strike Down the Ibis", I would say it would be better to read these sort of things in order, don't you think?**

**Chess**

"Okay, I think I got this," I nodded to myself, staring hard at the board that I had just learned so much about.

"I cannot believe you," Ulquiorra's encouraging response made me feel like a thousand bucks.

I moved my vision from the chess board in front of me to him, "Really?"

He sat back and took his cup of tea into his hands, "I have quite a good sense of judging intelligence."

"…"

"…are you telling me that I am not smart enough to play this human game of chi?" I wanted to hit him over the head with the checkered board. Since I had just set up all the pieces and that required me to mess up all that hard work. I didn't feel like doing it again.

"Yes," he simply responded and then drove in the jab, "and it is pronounced _chess._"

I opened my mouth. Then it closed. I stared down at the board and all its pieces. Mentally, I tried to name all of them. I got through two and forgot the rest. The Espada slipped his tea. I tried again. Failed.

It was the fifth try, with me pointing at the same piece, for him to say something.

"That is the king."

"I _knew _that," I mumbled and moved to the one to the right.

"That's the bishop."

I could see that little tiny grin that his cup was hiding, "I knew that too."

"Hardly."

"I did! You didn't give me time to think."

"Fine. What does the bishop _do?_"

I started at the tallish, narrowish, piece, "I…don't know."

"And yet, you claim to 'get this' game."

Okay, if he was going for the big guns, so was I, "maybe if you had spent a tiny bit more time _telling _me and less time _mentioning _how I wasn't worthy of this game, I _could _have figured it out by now."

He paused another aloof slip of the tea I had made for him. Raising an eyebrow ever-so-slightly, he thought about my words. Taking up the mysterious bishop, he brought it to my eye level.

"This is the bishop," he informed me, "it can move any number of squares it wishes, but only diagonally. Therefore, this means it has a weakness: it can only stay on black or white squares. Its cripple is equalized with the other bishop."

I blinked and then mirrored his move, grabbing the only piece I knew, the spiky one, "This is the king. It's powers are...?"

"Move one a square, in any direction," He returned his bishop to its resting place.

I twirled it in my hand, "And…?"

"And _what_, trash?"

"Does it shoot ceros or something?"

"No. It is made of rock. Rocks do not shoot ceros. Use your nonexistent brain, fraccion," He picked up the roundish tubish one.

"This is the Rook-" I interrupted him-"You didn't answer my question!"

I could see that he was trying not to use a cero himself, "you want to know about the other power of king?"

"Yes."

"There are none. Human kings throughout history are very weak, the insolence consequently are the weakest players on the board."

"Lord Aizen isn't weak," Not that I wanted to defend the guy, but it was a hole in Ulquiorra's theory.

"Nor, is he truly human, he is a shinigami last time I checked," he blinked and resumed, "the rook. Same concept as the bishop, except it can only move forwards, backwards, and side to side."

"So the two of them watch each other's back," I picked both of mine up and studied them carefully. This was important stuff.

"No need, but still, they are a powerful together."

"But you"-his turn to run over my thought, he shoved another piece in my face-"the knight, one of the best pieces."

"Well, that prejudice," I commented.

He sighed, "in what context?"

"It looks like a bat."

"…I refuse to participate in this idiosyncrasy."

I ignored that comment and went for the gold, "Also I heard from some tiny little hollow, when you release that you wear a _dress._"

He set down the tea and carefully leaned forward, forgetting the knight/bat comment, "and _whom _told you this data?"

Grimmjow didn't want his name spread around, "dunno, I said a 'little hollow'. I didn't mention who."

"I suggest mentioning it," he held up the black playing piece, "before I shove this rock into the residence of your eye."

"Then you don't deny it?"

I promptly dropped off my chair, as just as promised, the knight galloped into where my eye was a second before.

Popping out from behind the chair back, I risked one more, "Does that mean that you wear dinky little shoes with wings on them too?"

"…I believe this chess lesson is over," He calmly stood, shoving his hands into his pockets, "leave."

And I did. Quite fast, if I may so mention, laughing my head off. Oh aggravating Ulquiorra, _that _was better than any chess game. Don't think that he didn't get back at me. He did. With vengeance.

* * *

><p><em>Not the best, I agree. This was the first oneshot that I wrote after finishing the story and the only one that is close to being readable. I am pressed for time, so next week I am going to switch this one out for something better and post another one. <em>

_See yah next week!_

_Review?_

_-Quin_

________Bleach, Ulquiorra and co. do not belong to me but to the awesome Tite Kubo. Sola is my own creation, therefore copyrighted to me (she disproves of this).________


	2. A Surprise Gone A Bit Wrong

**A Surprise Gone A Bit Wrong**

"Yeah, what _is_ that thing?" I casually asked over my sandwich. The group of Arrancar huddled around their table glanced up. They didn't want anything to do with me. Something about how many misfortunes I had with all the other Espada.

"A birthday?" One of them peeped. I couldn't help that I wasn't popular. I had tried. Failed. Then I decided to just be me and give up with everything else.

"Yup."

"It's this human celebration... where a group of people come together, eat a cake and sing this awful song for this one human. Supposedly, you do it every year on the day that they were born on. A real waste of effort really," the Arrancar shrugged, "but if you do it right, the birthday person owes you big time."

"Oh?" I mumbled and the group collectively rose and escaped the room.

I wondered.

* * *

><p>One thing that I suggest that you don't do in Las Noches is try to go into any of the rooms that are labeled "secret". People don't call it "secret files" for fun. Luckily for me, I had filed junk into these things before. Really the only hard part is getting there, but if you know where all the trap doors and explosives are, it is okay. If not, it's really better to avoid getting blown to bits.<p>

It wasn't like they kept these "top secret files" all neat either. They were piled in large mounds to the ceiling, each pile was sorted by first letter and then mixed alphabetically. Climbing and carefully standing on the 'SHs', I started digging through the stuffed files.

"Schiffer...Schiffer...no not Sattlity...nope to Sallnew...Schiffer...no Sadee...Schiffer! Schiffer, Ulquiorra. Bingo."

The 'SHs' gave out from the collective weight of the file and I. I slid into the 'R's. That fell over and hit the 'Qs'. I winced as the domino effect happened as far as into the 'Bs'. Not a pretty sight, but happily I was never here so it must have been the wind. It could get quite gusty in Las Noches.

Flipping through the dashingly normal picture of the Espada, the first page was the basic information of the guy. 5'6", male, Murciélago, and other boring typical things were printed there and it didn't take much to find the information I wanted.

"December 1st?"

That was the day he claimed as his day of being created? That was unoriginal, he couldn't have picked some day in the middle of month? That would have been better. The main reason that I was griping was the fact that it was the 30th of November.

I tossed the file with the rest of the 'Ss'. How quickly I could pull this one out of my hat?

* * *

><p>I was staring at the list the human held in front of my nose like I was half blind.<p>

"What flavor would you like?"

It was possible that I was blind, since I knew nothing about cake flavors. I thought that they were only dry bits of bread compressed together.

"What would a constantly overwork and depressed guy like?" I asked back. That was the best description that I had without any of those really confusing details.

The woman looked confused anyways, "Lemon? Has he ever gone out for ice cream?"

"Nope."

"Eaten cookies at Christmas?"

"Not that I am aware of."

"Favorite candy?"

"Doesn't like them."

"Soda?"

"What's that?"

"Obviously not," "Sherri" her name tag said, looked exasperated, "does he live in the middle of nowhere?"

Why not be honest? "Yes, we live in a desert and this is this guy's first birthday party in a long time. I want to do it right, you know what I mean?"

Sherri blinked, "Really? How long has it been?"

"Probably over a century or two," I caught myself, "I mean, it feels that long."

"Vanilla is a good staple brand, how about some sprinkles in it?"

"He hates color," this was assumption. It might scare him to see some actual color.

"A white cake then and would you like a birthday message?"

"Is it a typical hum-happy thing to do?"

She didn't seem to notice my stumbles. It could be because of the person ordering next to me, who was screaming in another language that nobody knew. She was probably just happy that I could speak English.

"How about 'happy birthday so-and-so'?"

"Okay."

She checked a box, "What's the lucky guy's name?"

"Ulquiorra and trust me, he's not lucky," I wondered if the Espada would skin me alive or burn me at the stake. Both were not that great, though the fire would seem to be a little less painful. Then again, I wasn't a big fan of hot.

She waved me back into this world, "...and how would you spell that er, Ms. Sola?"

* * *

><p>I went shopping afterwards. There was balloons, party hats, streamers, candles, and so much more…well…junk. Did humans really need all this stuff? I guessed so. Thank goodness I wasn't doing a "theme" party.<p>

I dragged all this stuff, six bags in all, through the gargantua. I would have hide them under my bed. The cake would be done just in the morning, a quick run and then I would be already to throw a part for two.

Barely able to walk, I didn't notice the most annoying shinigami in the palace until he was right on my tail.

"Wha' ya doin'?" Gin asked _oh-so_-innocently.

I dragged forward, "Nothing that you need to involve yourself with, Lord Gin."

"Come on, ya know were best of friends," he leaned in. His definition of 'friendship' was how many things he had stolen off of the person. The adjective displayed just how often this happened. Actually, he was probably...

One of my birthday whistles blew straight in my face.

I proved my point.

"What's dis for? A 'irthday party?" He inched closer to see what else was in the bags.

"Yes," I pulled my new stuff away from his itching fingers, "Sorry, it's not like I don't want to have a wonderful conversation with you. I have things I need to do."

"Nahh…ya don't," his weird smile on his face bigger, "Who's it for?"

I started walking away, hoping he would get the drift, "Nobody."

"_Who?_"

"For somebody dead," I really wished that I hadn't gotten so much stuff.

"There's lotsa dead people."

"One dead person whose birthday is coming up," the lack of elaboration just seemed to aggravate his curiosity.

"Who is it?"

"You don't let these things _go_ do you?" I stopped trying to escape. It was useless. It was one of those _anything-you-can-do-I-can-do-bette_r sort of things.

He grinned straight in my face like he knew what I was thinking, "Ya kno somethin'? Yaur right. I don't."

"It's Ulquiorra's and it is tomorrow," I told him flat to his face.

"Can I come?" I suddenly considered this conversation over.

"No, he hates you and you know it," I walked around the suddenly rejected shinigami and continued.

My walk was quiet for about two minutes before the trailing Gin piped up.

"Ya sure I can't come?"

"Yup."

"Post've?"

"Yup."

"Ultra post've?

"Yes."

"Ya sure abo' dat?"

"Completely."

"_Complet'ly?_"

"Yes."

"…"

"'Ave ya changed ya mind yet?"

"No."

I broke down after the two hundredth and fifty-second question. It didn't help that a certain somebody was keeping the hallway in an endless loop.

Gin galloped off to tell _Lord Aizen _straight after. Oh _why _did I have a bad feeling about this?

I found out why two hours later.

"Yar goina have ta get more cake," Gin started listing off on his fingers, "and thos' funny hattie thingsies. Ya ain't got enough plates, knifes or fo'ks. Punchy stuff too. Don ya forget tha cake. More candles while ya at it."

"And why would I do this?"

"Lord Aizen 'vited the Espada."

Well, that wasn't too many. Only nine more plus Gin? Lord Aizen would invite himself so that brought the count up to thirteen. That wasn't _too bad_. It could be worst.

"And the fraccion. Cant forget 'hem now."

That would add about thirty…this was pushing my party planning skills.

A flicker of a frown came to Gin's face, "He also 'nvited dat party-pooper Tosen."

Might as well add the blind guy to the mix, I wondered how many people he would put asleep with his words filled with "mighty justice". How many sheets of cake would that be now?

"And e'erybody else too, ya know Aizen's a real nice guy for invitin' all thos people."

My jaw didn't bother hitting the ground, instead it went straight to the core of this dust ball of a earth. I must have misheard.

"Did you just say everybody_?_As in _everybody _everybody?

"Yup. Don't worry! Ya git me as yar assistant! It'll be great," he grinned even wider.

* * *

><p>Sherri looked a bit surprised when I came back a day early with the gigai-ed shinigami on my tail, "We haven't started on your cake yet, come back tomorrow morning."<p>

"Yeah about that," I itched the back of my head, acutely aware of the fact that Gin was watching my every move and simultaneously stealing more things than I wanted to know, "I need more cake."

"Lotsa more cake," Gin echoed behind me. His huge fat grin plastered across his face as he examined a very large cake knife.

The woman carefully studied the shinigami, probably deciding if he was just crazy or homicidal, "okay…how much more?

"About…" I looked down at my notes for the number. I didn't get time to finish that one.

"'Bout enough for three hundred-'ifty-two people I calculat'd," He started testing the weight of the knife by tossing it between his two hands.

"Three _hundred _people? We don't even have that much vanilla cake on hand!"

Grinning, the man walked up to the counter and pointed at her, "ya forgot the 'ifty three other people."

Sherri paled. I sighed. Gin didn't realize that he still had the huge cake knife in his hand. Carefully, I extracted the knife from his hand and placed it out of his grasp.

"You see this? This guy can't even speak without mangling every word he knows," I slid the knife further away as the man tried to grab it invisibly with a shunpo, "do you think you can do it?"

"No. We would have to close down the shop and put everybody to work on it. It's not possible," the knife in my hand disappeared, luckily the human didn't notice.

Gin went into his pocket and pulled out a sheath of currency that was over two inches thick, "Did ya think we ain't goinna pay ya?"

It took some stuttering but luckily we had arrived just before the cake shop slapped up the "closed" sign. The shinigami walked next to me as he happily tossed the new cake knife into the air.

"See dat? Ya gotta learn from teh master."

The knife flashed in the air as he caught it, "Was it _necessary_to steal the knife?"

"I got yar candles and stuff too, ya should be thankin' me."

* * *

><p>Somehow, we kept everybody quiet and after Lord Aizen had sent Ulquiorra on a "fake" mission, the entire Arrancar community was forced to work together. Who had to keep them all straight? Me. It was just <em>great.<em> Let me tell you.

After the cake had been carried in and _not _spilled everywhere, we all attempted the "happy birthday" song. Several glasses were broken in the process. Gin all the while ran around tacking the little party cones to everybody's head. Starrk and many others would have taken them off, minus one little detail; the smiling man had discovered the magic of super glue.

Cramming into the largest of the Espada meeting rooms, we all waited in the dark for the Espada of the hour to come back.

Apparently, Ulquiorra decided just to annoy us all or take an abnormally long time to make sure this one human baby was harmless.

Why this took over two hours was beyond me. I was shoved between two Arrancar, one with bad breath and the other wouldn't stop twitching. Everybody was reaching the end of their rope. Then there was a noise and the whole room went deathly quiet.

Starrk snored again.

"Starrk!" was the collective yell. That did it, the ranks broke and tempers exploded. The mess that formed was more impressive than the food fight last week. Grimmjow and Nnorita both trying to provoke as many fights as possible and others just plain yelled at each other. Lord Aizen looked on like nothing was happening, he was just _such_ the good leader.

I was just about to get dragged into the mess when I happened to look up.

"What is all this _trash_ doing in here?"

Everyone froze. Oops. We seemed to have missed our cue. Except for one.

"Happy 'irthday Ulquiorra!" Gin popped out from nowhere only like he could.

The Espada blinked as the words processed. Without another word, he turned go back the way that he had come.

"Ulquiorra," Lord Aizen called. The Arrancar stopped cold in his tracks.

"Your fraccion kindly thought this party for you and we all have participated in its creation. Wouldn't it be rude to walk out on your own birthday party?"

We all watched as Ulquiorra Schiffer turned around and bowed to his leader, "Of course Lord Aizen, I would be honored to…enjoy my own birthday party."

Lord Aizen waved and the party officially started.

He suffered. I could tell. The out of tune, half messed up birthday song was wince-worthy. The emo jokes came from the peanut stands straight after were just as good. Then Lord Aizen forced every Espada to say "a few words" about the Quatro. They ranged from Starrk's "Happy birthday," to Grimmjow's "I hope I kill you before you turn another year older."

The best was saved for last. Ulquiorra had to cut the smaller cake just for him. He stopped to glare at the meager message that was scrawled across every single one of the cakes in the room.

"My name is spelled wrong."

The cake said: _"Happy Birthday Urukiora!"_

Oops.

"Do not mind the spelling, it was a human that created it," Lord Aizen commented from his thrown, "Please, blow out the candles as it is the human tradition."

Ulquiorra looked up, "Is it also human tradition for a wish of mine to be granted?"

"Yes. What would you like, my dear Espada?"

"I wish to see my fraccion…now."

That was never a good sign. I was pushed forwards until I stumbled to a stop right before the person that I _really_ didn't want to see.

He didn't wait for me to say anything, "Did you create this party?"

"In theory but really-"

"-It's a yes or no question."

"…Yes," I had a sinking feeling about this, especially with everybody watching.

Ulquiorra looked down seriously, "In that case, I order you to close your eyes and stand very still."

"_What_?"

"Do not dare make me repeat myself on my birthday."

Of course, _now_ he pulls the birthday card.

I glared at him one last time and closed my eyes. Nothing happened. I couldn't even hear Ulquiorra do anything. The rest of the Arrancar were just as quiet. What was he thinking?

I figured out it out two seconds later.

Ulquiorra's hand softly grabbed the back of my head and my brain started chugging about one billion miles an hour.

Then something soft hit my lips.

For some reason, my mind imploded so violently it spewed off in two different directions. Whatever it was kinda nice then again kinda gross. I twitched away and relaxed forward at the same time. My hand came up to touch and stop whatever it was. It tasted really good and but sorta awful too. I had this one fleeting thought of _what_ the thing might be.

Time came forward with a definite jerk.

Ulquiorra Schiffer finished smashing his entire birthday cake against my face.

And the crowd went wild.

It wasn't that nice little _aww…I'm going to put cake on your face_. It was the _I am going to shove cake up your nostrils._I gagged and struggled to no avail. Ulquoirra's hand turned claw-like and forced me to keep my face in the cake as he did the deed.

Giving the plate one final unmerciful twist against my forehead, he let it fall to the ground and released his grip. I sputtered backward, trying to uncover my cake-filled air passages.

"Please. Let the cake be served," the voice of the cake masher stated.

I swiped the frosting away from my eyes just in time to that little flash of a smile. No way was I going to make a scene now. I was too mad and humiliated. Even Starrk was laughing. Carefully, I slunk away from the birthday party to nurse my birthday cake induced wounds.

I just ended up taking a shower.

* * *

><p>It was a day later when I ran up behind the Espada<p>

"Hey! Ulquiorra!" I shouted at him.

He turned, "What now-"

I smashed another cake straight into his face. Returning the favor and as much kindness as he had. I grinded it as far underneath is hollow mask as possible against the muffled sound. Before he had a proper chance to recover, I tossed away the plate and stood back to enjoy my handiwork.

Frosting everywhere, cake bits rolling down his shirt, black icing streaking down his face, it was perfect.

"Happy _late_ birthday Ulquiorra!"

I bolted away and I will not describe the events afterwards. Best to say that Ulquiorra, unlike me, did not take it very well.

Though, it did not matter what had happened afterwards.

The astonished look on his face was literally the icing on the cake.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks to Rose202, Winter 'neechan, DemonColours, September Sky and <strong>Vheeri<strong> The Succubus for reviewing. I am happy to see so many people have decided to continue with Sola! That's wonderful. Winter 'neechan and **September Sky have already added this to their favorites, thank you!****

**Thanks to Rose202 for betaing this chapter. She's not feeling so great these days, so wish her a speedy recovery from the flu, yes?**

* * *

><p><em>So happy birthday Ulquiorra!<em>

_Fine, it's a day late, but still I wanted to keep the schedule._

_I realized about three days ago that Ulquiorra's birthday was coming up. I had to do SOMETHING for it with Sola. I swear, the possibilities were endless but I think this one was the best. Plus, who doesn't like the classic cake smashing? _

_I tried to think of a better title of this story, but really I can't. Plus, "The Extras" is sorta starting to grow on me. Anybody got any better idea?_

_Review?_

_-Quin_

_________Bleach, Ulquiorra and co. do not belong to me but to the awesome Tite Kubo. Sola is my own creation, therefore copyrighted to me (she disproves of this)._________

_Note: The chapter title "Chess" morphed into "The Battish Knight" and I kept it online because of the awesome number of request to do so._


	3. Yesterday Was A Wednesday

**Yesterday Was A Wednesday**

I slammed into the wall again. This time I got at bloody nose for my troubles. Glancing back, I decided that I really hated large pieces of rope. Especially those pieces of rope that seem to think it's funny to snag on thin air.

This was my issue of the day.

I was ordered to help out this rebuilding project after Grimmjow tried to kill Ulquiorra and destroyed another set of buildings to in the process. That bought the total up to…10,000 square feet of rubble? I couldn't be sure anymore. Nobody had seen the offender since, but Lord Aizen had not appointed a new Sexta. That was the telling tale to the fact that _Mr. King-of-the-Pebble_ was still around somewhere. I didn't really care.

I _did_ care about the fact that this rope was annoying.

Wiping off my blood mustache, I started collecting up the hundred foot long rope that weighed more than I did. I slung most of it over my shoulder. Luckily, being mostly hollow I could still lift more than my weight. It still wasn't the greatest experience.

I dragged on. Why couldn't they have omebody who could have sonido-ed the stuff over? It would have been faster. Nope, supposedly they had those Arrancars painting white paint on the new _white _walls. Pointless? Yes. Questionable? No.

I made it halfway down the hall when the rope jerked again. This time I fell on my face. It was better than hitting the wall. Sighing, I didn't bother looking back. I threw my weight forward to release the rope from the snag.

I head butted the wall from the lack of resistance. I glared back. Nothing. The end of rope twitched but it looked innocent. I was going crazy.

Or it could possibly be the glacier of lack of sleep I had. I resumed the rope hauling. I hadn't hit the bed for over two days. This project filled up my days and Ulquiorra's "training" destroyed the possibility of a good night's rest. Sometimes I wondered how Ulquiorra didn't keel over himself.

The tail end slithered along behind me as I tussled with the urge to sleep. The coordinator of this construction project didn't bother warning anybody about slacking off. It seemed the warning was your sudden panic when he came barreling after you to skin you alive. Most escaped, those who didn't…well…you can connect _those_ dots.

The rope stopped.

I flew like a bird.

"_Really?" _ I asked the inanimate end as I stood over it. No obstruction around, no gash in the floor, no pole in the way, and absolutely no way for it to stop on its own. I didn't get it. How could it…?

I put the puzzle pieces together. Carefully, I gathered the rope and left a good ten feet tailing behind. Moving forward, I kept an eye on what was happening behind me. Pacifically, the tail tumbled along like nothing was wrong.

Nothing happened. Nobody showed up for over a half an hour of dragging. I gave up, that's when I hit gold.

There was the sound of a sonido and the rope was stopped. A certain missing Espada pounced on the string. I slammed on the brakes so I didn't get jerked forward. I knew that sometimes an Espada would show signs from their release but this…this was just impressive.

Grimmjow was acting straight out kitten-like.

The end of the rope stopped moving as I stared. The Espada's face went puzzled and became distracted by something shiny further away. He shimmered away. Crouching down and lying most of the rope at my feet, I took up the end. This had potential.

The rope swooshed back and forth and it didn't take long to attract the confused Espada. He pinned the "string" between his hands. I gave my end a hard yank. The rope flew up into the air. Grimmjow's head followed its path and he zeroed in on it seconds later. The prize within his hands, he grinned.

I was on the verge of tears. Trying not to laugh, I didn't want to break the spell. The rope twitched and the Arrancar scrabbled after it. It didn't take long for him to do circles, front flips, back flips, rolls and dances. He wasn't even tired, even though I could spot at least fifteen different healing cuts, bangs and scrapes.

I miscued. The rope flopped up against the wall and Grimmjow pounced after it. He didn't notice the wall either. Head met stone hard in a sicking _thunk_. He stumbled back and flopped over comically.

It would have been comical, if I wasn't worried that I just _might _have killed one Lord Aizen's cream of the crop. That would be a bit of a mistake. He didn't take too kindly to things like that. Not that anybody had managed to do it before. Who _could_ kill an Espada by mistake? Apparently, Sola Kiri. I should have my name on a plaque.

Thankfully, my metaphorical plaque was refunded before it was made. Grimmjow groaned to life and rubbed his head. I wanted to run. I had to know that there wasn't brain damage before I skedaddled.

The Espada glanced over, saw the rope and me at the other end. He thought fast. I was pinned up and strangled against the wall quicker than I could process.

"What did you see?" He snarled in my face. Apparently, playing with string wasn't the only thing that he liked to do. His breath stank like fish, old rotten fish really.

"_Gah ga hgah ga-uh-nush_," give me points of originality if you want, but that's what you get when you ask someone a question and _strangle_ them at the same time.

He sighed more fish breath and release most of my throat, "talk."

I couldn't help myself.

Grinning, I said, "you like string."

That equaled tightening and I squeakingly elaborated, "you like to _play_ with string! It was an accident! I was just goinahhhh…" Grimmjow closed off my throat.

"I hate to kill you. You're Ulquiorra's girl," I begged differ here, silently, "and he'll probably try to kill me if I smash your brains out."

I wanted to agree now. I would like to keep this life. My face was going purple. I groped around trying to pry off his fingers but that was like pushing a two ton rock uphill.

"Maybe if I just disembowel you and leave you to flop around then he won't think it was me."

My voice wanted to tell him that _no, _it wouldn't work but still had a tiny problem with that. Grimmjow mulled it over. It didn't seem like there was a spark in his mind that he was going to let me go.

I was quite against Grimmjow's plan. Really, the killing was fine and all, but when I was on the other end…not such a big fan. I had to try something. A crazy thought peeked. I didn't have anything better. So I summon my knowledge of anatomy and I kicked, as hard as I could muster, right in the wrong place. For once I was short enough to do something right.

Best to say, it worked. Why wouldn't it? Grimmjow release me and folded up like a lawn chair on steroids, gagging. I tumbled to the ground. Really not taking any time to check out my handiwork, I stumbled up and bolted.

Who knew how long my below the belt attack would hold. It held shorter than I thought. Five minutes later, I was cornered. Grimmjow was spitting mad, his sword raised in his hands and his face redder than a tomato.

I had no defense. There was really no excuse that would cut this one.

As he came in for the kill, I noticed an innocent bystander.

"Ulquiorra!" I screamed in the highest pitched girly voice I could. I didn't want to sound like a damsel in distress, but it was the truth.

Grimmjow lowered his sword and groaned at the sight of the other Espada, "Aww…shit. You're going to make me stop, aren't you?"

Ulquiorra strolled over and surveyed the scene. I was plastered up against the corner as pale as the wall behind me. Grimmjow, still dripped from his earlier wounds, about to try to impale me with his sword.

My savor blinked, "Oh no. Please, by all means, continue."

I was in shock.

Grimmjow didn't question it. Baring his teeth, his hand raised with the sword again. I couldn't even move. I just stared at Ulquiorra. He was just _standing _there and watching this cat crazied person just chop me into bits and stuff that into sardine cans. I could envision Sola Sardines with the cheesy catch phrase _"stuffed with spunk!"_ I really couldn't move. A flaw, I suppose, I froze in face of death.

The edge of the sword came an inch from my nose and it stopped. It withdrew it a bit and then swayed back forward. Crossing my eyes, the sword stopped at the same place. My eyes crawled up to Grimmjow's face.

He snarled and threw his sharp implement back in the sheath, "Now I don't feel like doing this!"

Shaking his fist at Ulquiorra, he stomped off. I collapsed. Heaving, I couldn't seem to get enough air in my system. I blame the lack of sleep.

"You are hyperventilating."

I glared up at him, "I hate you."

"You do not. I just saved you life trash."

We stood in silence until I got a better hold of myself.

Closed my eyes, I dared to ask, "Why does Grimmjow act like a cat?"

"That is simple, even for your mind. He released. There is always consequences later. In addition to the information, yesterday was Wednesday."

I perked up, "What's on Wednesday, knitting class?"

"No. It's fish night," Ulquiorra kicked the edge of the forgot rope, "Now take this up and leave."

And I did.

More importantly I avoided Grimmjow for every Thursday of the rest of my life.

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><p><strong>Better AN later...**

_This is Rose202 request, since she has done so much for me and my writing I just had to do something in return! This was a fun challenge to write, I hope she likes it._

_Review?_

_-Quin_


	4. The Triple

**The Triple**

I was sleeping.

Peacefully, humbly, innocently getting my rest. This was what normal Arrancar did. They slept and then got up in the morning and did their thing. Eventually, the process would start all over again. I suppose this isn't true for Ulquiorra. I was happily underneath my covers all nice and warm when suddenly a certain, very unwelcome voice woke me up.

"Wake up."

Shoving my pillow over my face, I mumbled in his general direction, "No. I need my sleep and you said I could have the night off from training. Go. Away."

"I am aware of that, but I am waking you because all the fraccions are being summoned."

My face appeared from under the white and unfocusedly looked at the same boring expression, "Come again?"

"I am waking you because all the fraccions are being summoned," He blinked and turned to leave, "be in the Espada's Meeting room in five minutes or suffer the consequences."

Well, that was ominous. Usually, he didn't both with the idea of consequences and just assumed that I knew that came with the package. Yawning, I started the process up hauling myself out of bed at…2:30 in the morning. What was going on?

Digging in my singular drawer for a clean jacket, the same voice came drifting in, "wake up."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Give me a break, I am awake."

"All the fraccions are being summoned, be in the Espada's Meeting room in five minutes or suffer the consequences."

I stopped and looked back. Ulquiorra was standing there. Ulquiorra had just been there. I didn't know that he had memory problems.

"Sure, whatever," I waved him off and went back to digging.

Finally, I found the singular white jacket that didn't have a blood/stain/rip/tea on it. If I was going to the meeting room, Lord Aizen was probably going to be there. Sometimes, having a single rip in your clothing could count as "disloyalty" and he would set that crazy, "justice", blind guy after you until there was nothing left.

Shoot, the button that kept the flappy thing from buckling had popped off. I searched into the bottom of the drawer for that one elusive safety pin.

"Wake up."

My hand curled into a ball of anger, of course, right around the open pin. The pointy end went straight into my palm. I curse loudly and swung to face the suddenly forgetful Espada.

"I. Am. Awake." I accented every word with a just a tiny bit of my frustration.

"Come to the Espada Meeting room in five minutes-"

"-Or suffer the consequences! I get it," I growled, my brain still wasn't even booted up, "and I would be there already if it hadn't been for you." Not completely true, but hey, it was 2:30 AM. The concept was close enough.

He narrowed his eyes, "Don't get cocky fraccion. Remember your place."

I yanked the pin from my hand and watched the little red dot form, "you do realize it's not even really morning yet? Get off my back."

The Espada turned and left. I was fumbled around with the pin. It seemed that my fingers didn't want to work in their sleepy state. I didn't blame them. Using my teeth to hold the cloth in place, I tried to pin the pieces together once again.

"Fraccion," the same voice went and I had enough. The safety pin went flying through the air. Its path led straight towards the Espada. It was easily caught with just two fingers.

"If I could just get this flappy thing to be unflappy-like and shove that pin in place then I would be there already! Don't you have other fraccion to bug?" I snapped as pointed at the stone face Arrancar.

He blinked and set the pin down carefully, "I see."

Then I noticed something, Ulquiorra was wearing one of those children's paper party hats probably leftover from the birthday fiasco. This one was red and white. It was quite comical really. I didn't dare ask why since I had just thrown a pin at his face.

"Don't bother with your lapel. There is no need," for the fourth time today, he turned to the door. "Come with me."

I raised an eyebrow but didn't ask questions. The minute we started walking, I knew something was off. There was a strange amount of…corruption in the atmosphere of Las Noches. It was big because I didn't notice these of things unless they were elephant-sized.

"What's up with this place?" I voiced my thought as we started to near the Espada Meeting room. I should mention that it was typically off limits to tiny little bugs like fraccions, but today that didn't seem to be the case.

"You will see."

I couldn't help it; my mouth said it. "Does it have something to do with the party hat on your head?"

The cold reply could have frozen my toes off. "The hat was not of my design. It is simply necessary."

"Oh."

We walked in silence until we came to the door to the meeting room. Thumping, thrashing, banging and other encouraging signs were seeping from inside it. The room was supposed to be sound proof.

"This will explain everything. Your job is to keep them from leaving using any means necessary."

Ulquiorra opened the door and I peeked inside.

"What the…?"

In the corner, three Harribels were escalating to a fight with three Nnoirtas. The three Yammies were all arm wrestling with each other. The Zommabarris were meditating with an eminence amount of hooming and humming, random sun symbols appearing on the walls around them. Why? Because of the huge cracks that were forming in them as all three of the Grimmjows fought, screaming that they were king. From the sidelines, three old gesters were yelling that they should shut up and agree that he was the rightful king. There was a pile of three sleeping Starrks who seemed to care less about the world. Six creepy heads bubbled around in their tanks, showing off random forms, trying to outdo each other.

Best of all, three other Ulquiorras stood in opposite corners, probably not wanting to affiliate with each other. I smirked at this and looked back at the Ulquiorra with the party hat on.

"I didn't know that everybody wanted triples."

He watched a chair be completely destroyed by a Nnoirta, "No one did. One of Szyeal's experiment went wrong and all the data samples from the Espada were in it. He and his doubles are working on a solution now."

"Looks like the yous hate you."

Ulquiorra sighed, "It seems so. I would have thought differently."

"Nobody likes you, Ulquiorra, not even copies of yourself."

That got a twitch of an eyebrow, "At least I - we are civil enough to not try and fight each other." A Grimmjow flew into the wall. Getting up, he spat what I hope wasn't teeth, and jumped back into the brawl.

"So you wear the hat so people know it's the real you?"

"Yes."

"You still look stupid in it." Who knows, it could have been fashionable, but I highly doubted it.

Ulquiorra turned to the door and curtly finished the conversation, "Just keep them in here."

He locked the door behind him. I looked and saw a group of fraccion huddling a corner, trying to stay alive. I joined them. No way was I going to get in the way of an Espada fighting another Espada, even if technically they were the same Arrancar.

It was quite a good show actually.

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><p><strong>Rose202, AizheNi, maylavender and Winter 'neechan all reviewed this story, I feel so loved! <strong>**Also, maylavender, Rose202, and DemonColours now have spots on my awesome list for favoriting this story. Rose202 also betaed this chapter, so thanks again!**

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><p><em>I wonder WHAT Syzeal was doing with all those samples...we can only wonder. This started with the image of Ulquiorra with one of those huge mexican hats on, just google "ulquiorra mexican hat" and it's the first and second ones. Quite priceless. <em>

_Next week's chapter? Christmas themed of course! :P_

_Review?_

_-Quin_

_Bleach=Tite Kubo, Sola=Quihwyvar, yes?_


	5. A Bit Overdone

**A Bit Overdone**

Now I was a bit confused.

First thing I didn't understand was why I was in the Espada's meeting room. It wasn't my job to serve them tea, yet here I was cups and tea pot in hand. Yet, this really wasn't the real confusing part.

This was the confusing part: everyone was acting…a bit strange.

Yet, I was a fraccion and all I could do was fill the cups.

Ulquiorra was first, I walked up to him and he jerked up at me with a start.

"Um…would you some tea?" I asked.

"tttttttttt_tttttttt_", He stuttered.

"What?"

"Trash!" He screamed upwards, "Trashy, trash with trashy nothinginess! _Trash! t- tr- tr- tr-tra- trash!_"

Nobody noticed. Actually, it was more normal than anything else that was happened.

I winced and started pouring the tea, "I am guessing that is a yes."

"Trash! Trashy trashy trash! Trashiness with trashy nothinginess, _trashtrashtrashtrash TRASH!"_

I moved on.

Grimmjow was curled up in his chair. There was a fish in his mouth. He was sucking on it like it was his thumb. I swore I saw whiskers.

"Would you like some tea?" I offered and I inched a tiny bit further away from the Espada.

Grimmjow looked up, his eyes seemed to double in size and he said around the fish, _"meow?"_

I filled the cup.

Starrk was closer to normal. His head was smashed up against the table and he was drooling. He didn't typically sleep at meeting though. Oh well. I didn't even bother asking.

"Did you hear me?" Zommbari asked in my face when I came up to him.

I blinked, "no."

He raised his arms and pointed around, "I can control everything in here! I swear! You! Me! Him! Her! Everyone! EVERYONE is at my mercy! You should be THANKING ME!"

"Would you like tea?" I wanted out of the room.

"Didn't you just hear me?" He slammed his hands onto the table.

"Yes," I replied flatly, "You control everything."

"See how underappreciated I am?"

I filled his cup.

"SMASH 'EM! I WANNA SMASH 'EM! LET ME!" Nnoirta was currently shaking the top of hischair.

"I WAANNNNAAAA!" He screamed at the ceiling, "I GOTTAAAA BE BETTER THAN THAT NEL! SHE'S GOT EGO ISSUES!

"YOU SEE THIS HOOD? IT'S MY WAY OF SHOWING HOW MUCH BETTER I AM TO THAT-"

"Would you like tea?" I asked.

Nnoirta froze and looked down at me, "Huh? Yes."

Then he went back to shaking his chair and screaming at the ceiling.

I filled the cup.

Szyeal was holding a flower and singing about being pretty.

I really decided on not interrupting him.

Harribel was sitting stiff in her chair, staring straight ahead.

"Umm…"

She didn't blink.

"Would you like some tea?"

It was like I was talking to a stone.

"She doesn't talk anymore," Szyeal mentioned, "it's all too traumatic for her."

Nnoirta broke his chair into two pieces.

I filled Harribel's cup anways.

Baraggan glared at me and before I could say anything he asked, "Do you know who I am?"

I looked closer at him and realized something, "You know what? I don't. Who are you?"

"See? Nobody mentions me in anything! It's like I don't even exist! I am number two and nobody even remembers me! I was king-no-I still am king!"

"I am sorry, would you like some tea with that?" I asked.

"No. I don't."

Aaroniero tried to bite my head off. I didn't offer tea.

Yammy was crying. I looked at him and then into his hands.

There was a broken crayon.

"Would you like some tea?" I asked.

"I-*hiccup*-I-*snuff*-I broke my ccrrayon…do you think-*snuff*-Ulquiorra can fix it?" The Espada looked down at me, tears running down his cheeks.

"Sure," I poured the tea.

I stepped back and listened to the racket.

"TrashTRASHtrash!"-"MERCY YOU ARE ALL AT MY MERCY"-"My crayon…"-"I am still here you know!"-"LET ME SMASH SOMETHING NOOWWW!"

I woke up in a rush from that dream.

Never again was I going to have so much eggnog.

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><p><strong>Thanks to maylavender, MissFluffyBottoms and Winter 'neechan for reviewing this story! Thanks to iDon'tLiveiWatchOthersLive for favoriting this story. You are all awesome!<strong>

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><p><em>Merry Christmas everyone! Or if not that, than Happy Holidays! I had something else written for this week but suddenly it came to me that I always pride myself in keeping everybody in character. Why not just throw all that character analyses out the window for one story? It was a blast to write.<em>

_I am literally at Grandma's house so that is the reason that I am a day late. We spent the entire night laughing over how everyone has a shotgun under their bed (minus my mother & I) and sniffing each other's cellphones. You wonder why my ideas seem a bit out of the box sometimes? I get it in my genes._

_Happy Holidays!_

_You can review if you want, I won't get mad. :)_

_-Quin_

_Tite Kubo=Bleach Quinhwyvar=Sola Yes?_


	6. The Not So Hopefully Good Gift

**The Not-So Hopefully Good Gift**

"Sit."

I stood there stiff-legged.

Ulquiorra looked up from his seat on the other side of the table, "Did you not hear me? Come and sit."

"Why?" I looked at the opposite seat; it didn't seem like it was going to drop me into oblivion. Calling me in here could mean two things. First, he might want to congratulate me on such a good job; not very likely. Or he could have called me in here to tell me that today, Christmas of all days, was the last day of my life.

"Must I explain everything to you? Now sit before I decide this is more trouble than it's worth."

Giving him one last look, I put myself in the chair. I crossed my legs, then uncrossed them and crossed them the other way. Ulquiorra watched this until I eventually got tangled and fell out of the seat completely.

The Espada sighed, "Please, by all means, take your time."

"It's a holiday; you shouldn't even have ordered me here at all," I scrabbled back into the chair. "Get your coat tails out of a knot."

His frown increased but he didn't reply. Once I was settled, he started up his speech, "There was an order given out to the Espada about two weeks ago that I have ignored until now. I must fulfill it before midnight tonight."

That peeked my curiously.

"I must give a holiday gift to my fraccion. Even though you to not deserve this in the slightest degree, it must be done," he reached under the table and brought up a present, "Here, have your…holiday present."

I could never say that Ulquiorra Schiffer did anything awkwardly. Truly he didn't. As he shoved the gifts out, he looked like he had just shoved a sword into his own guts. I was sure he would rather do that than sit on that side of the table.

"Err...thanks," I took the red wrapped gift into my hands. It was a flat and rectangular. Not very exciting, but, it was my first Christmas present so I wasn't looking for all those bells and whistles. I grabbed a corner.

Ulquiorra twitched.

I glanced up at him with a tiny bit of a smile. The sounds of ripping filled the air and before I had gotten through my first tear he interrupted me.

"It's a sweater."

I froze and looked up at that completely blank face, "…you do realize that I am supposed to find this out on my own right? That's whole reason of wrapping this thing."

"You do not need to school me in the idea behind wrapping paper," he glared from across the table as I held the sweater's box.

"Then why did you tell me?" I shook my head. "Never mind."

As I finished unwrapping the sweater, I came to the realization that 'ugly' was an unappreciated word. The thing had a grinning reindeer and the green and red stripes of yarn muddled together into a mess that looked like the colors of bruises. Best of all, it was about three times the size that it needed to be. I could have fit Yammy, if he gained another two hundred pounds.

Had he found it in the bottom of a dumpster or something?

I stared at the thing, "One question, Ulquiorra."

"Yes?" He asked in an emotionless voice.

"Why did you buy me a sweater when we live in the middle of a desert?"

"…it's festive."

I shifted in the chair, "Um…it is."

"Yes, it is," He folded his hands across on the table.

Silence reined evilly until I asked the question. "Ulquiorra…what am I supposed to do with this thing?" I winced as I said it; who knew what he might say in return.

"Wear it. That is the common thing that humans do with clothing."

I set the box down and picked at a loose string on it. "You know I can't. The dress code requires this idiotically white coat and pants that have to be bleached every couple days."

"I am aware of that."

"…how am I supposed to wear it then?"

"I do not know."

"I…" he looked up and I sighed, "I don't know how to even thank you."

"Do not expect anything more from me."

I shoved out of the chair, "And with those words, I am going to leave to enjoy the rest of my Christmas."

Escaping the room, I hurried off to somehow, destroy this ugly sweater. For all Ulquiorra's IQ, I would have thought of a bit more of a…better gift.

Ah well.

It was the thought that counted.

Then I remembered that he had been ordered to give the thing to me.

I scrapped the above thought.

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><p><strong>Thanks to Winter 'neechan &amp; Rose202 for reviewing! Also in other news, AnimeNred92 favorited this story, I must be doing something right!<strong>

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><p><em>Merry Christmas!<em>

_...er_

_..._

_...yeah_

_It's the 6th of January... isn't it?_

_Oh well, I realized that I _really _wanted to_ _do something better than the previous chapter. So here it is! I bet we have all recieved something like that cursed sweater before...me? Hot pink, stretchy mini shorts that said something along the lines of "sweetcakes/hot stuff" on the behind...when I was ten. _

_Review?_

_-Quin_

_Bleach=Kubo Tite, Sola=Quinhywvar Yes?_


	7. High

**High**

"Ulquiorra!_" _I called as I swung into his room. I stumbled around a tiny bit but kept my footing. The Espada dryly looked up from his unending amount of paperwork. Squinting, I looked closer at the paper… was he drawing monkeys?

"Do not drag out my name, it is very unbecoming. What do you want, trash?"

I made a weird face, ignored his comment and shoved my finger into his report. "Why are you drawing monkeys?"

Somehow, I didn't notice that I had smeared the entire thing.

"…I did not draw monkeys," He was looking more carefully at me now. I hiccupped.

"Yes, you did. And this one is eating a banana. I thought you hated bananas?" The banana-eating monkey glared at me, or was that Ulquiorra?

"Trash."

I cocked my head at the paper. "Trash?"

There was suddenly another monkey on his paper, I looked harder.

"_Trash!_" He shouted, grabbed my chin and pointed towards his annoying face.

"You know, there is plenty of trash in this room, I thought that you were talking to it, not me."

He lifted a finger, "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Why are you giving me _the_ finger?" something drifted back to me from a life unknown and I ripped my face away from his hand, "oh no! no-no-_no-no-no_! Don't kill me!"

The Espada stood as I backed away from him. "you are delirious. What have you _eaten_ fraccion?"

Something more important than what he was saying caught my attention. I ran and climbed onto his bed.

"There was something that I always wanted to do," I started to bend my knees a bit, "and that was to fly!"

Ulquiorra watched blankly as I promptly started destroying any springs that where left in the bed with my overzealous jumping. His head nodded with my path a couple times and then he shook it.

"Sola. Remove yourself from my bed."

His room suddenly felt light and I screamed. The bed forgotten, I fell quite hard onto the ground. I didn't feel it though as I pointed and gaped at the new thing in the room.

"What is THAT thing doing in this room?"

The Espada warily followed my finger and sighed, "There is nothing there."

Apparently, he couldn't see the rainbow colored unicorn standing there, eating the purple grass that had suddenly sprung from the hard ground.

"Are you kidding me? It's huge," I shook my finger at the peaceful animal.

He looked again, straight at the equine, "I can assure you there is nothing there."

"You can't see the rainbow colored unicorn? Are you _blind?_" His eyes widened and looked back at the spot. For a second I thought he could see it, then he sighed.

"This is ridiculous," he started to approach, "we are going to see Szyeal."

Szyeal? It took my brain a second to remember. Then all I could think of was needles and pink hair.

I dove under the bed that I was lying against to hide from the peaceful unicorn but, perhaps more importantly, annoyed Espada. Curling into a ball in the far corner, I shivered and shook from the buzz in the back of my head.

"Get out from under there, trash," his feet stopped when they couldn't get any closer.

"No!"

"I _order _you from under there." I squirmed at the tone in his voice.

I pressed harder against the stone, "n-n-nnooo. I'm not coming out."

"Don't make me come and get you."

Closing my eyes, I started wailing, for no apparent reason, "I-I-I'm sorrryyyyyyyyy…it's all my fault…"

"_What _are you talking about now?" The feet asked, they seemed to have grown mouths. It didn't question my eyes.

"I-I-I-I-don't know…"the tears were coming fast and hard, "no! Everything's my fault. _Everything. _I can't do anything about it."

"Come out before I forcibly remove you."

"_All the pain in the word…it's my FAULT!" _

"…" Suddenly the bed started to creak and move. Ulquiorra was trying to uproot me from my hole.

I scrabbled as he moved the bed. My tears were long since forgotten. In the background, the unicorn was starting to sing a very bad rendition of "yankee doodle went to town".

It took him six different moves to realize that I wasn't going anywhere.

I was huddled in a ball when I realized that the feet had turned into a face.

I snuffled at him. "_I don't know what to do."_

"What will make you come out?" Ulquiorra asked impatiently.

"_I don't know what to do."_

"About what?"

"Christmas."

No idea where _that_ one came from.

There was a huge sigh, "What about Christmas?"

I looked him straight in the eyes and in the quietest voice possible I said, "I missed it."

The quarto Espada looked right back at me, "did you know? It's still Christmas. You didn't miss it."

The unicorn stopped singing and had started tap dancing. Who knows what it was really trying to do, it could have been something to do with the fact that its tail was on fire.

"I didn't?"

"No."

I blinked, something wasn't making sense and I didn't know what, "_really?"_

"Why don't you come out and see for yourself? The…Christmas tree is all set up and…ah…"

I perked a bit, "is Santa here yet?"

"Yes. You've been a good girl and now he wants to give you your present."

There was huge amount of laughing the background. I couldn't figure out over what.

"I-i-I guess I could come out for a present…" I started to crawl slightly forwards and then stopped, "How do I know that you're not lying?"

"Because…I am secretly Santa."

"REALLY?"

"Yes."

"Do you have a rain deer called Rudolph ?"

"Yes. I feed him carrots every day."

"What's my present?" I asked this Ulquiorra/Santa.

"Come out and I'll give it to you."

And with that I inched within grabbing distance.

Two huge powerful hands grabbed whatever part of me they could get a hold of and dragged me out. Then the white sheet off the bed wrapped itself around me so tight I could hardly breathe. The unicorn started the singing back up and I started screaming once again.

"Now. We are going to Szyeal."

"Nnnnnnnoooooooo! You are an evil person! Why? Why? Why are you doing this to me? Nooooo….."

Ulquiorra packed me down the hall and I slammed my fits against his back. I attracted the entire Espada with my screams and crazied threats. Lord Aizen even gave it some interest.

I was thrown onto a table and my head banged hard against it. Stunned a bit, I wondered why the ceiling was turning into a rainbow swirl.

"Give her something to shut her up, then figure out why she turned completely mad."

I wanted to touch it. I couldn't quite reach.

"Why? She seems quiet now."

Then came the giggles. I couldn't help it. They welled up inside and suddenly I was laughing like a manic. Banging the table, I rolled onto my side…only to see the pink haired monster. My laughter turned to screams again.

"AGH! NO! No! Don't rip out my eye! I like my eyes! Take Ulquiorra's instead! They'll come back!"

"…is she quiet now, Szyeal?"

"No."

"Fix it."

Then came a sudden pinch and the world went dark.

I woke up with a tired Ulquiorra barely watching me.

"What…what…what happened?" I asked, rubbing the side of my head. Why was I laying in Ulquiorra's bed with a giant headache?

"I removed the rest of the all the Coke, Fruit Loops, M&Ms, gummy bears, Starbursts, marshmallows, five hour energy drinks, Monster cans, Snickers, and plain raw sugar that you managed not eat."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"I believe it's better if you don't know."

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><p><strong>Thanks to both MissFluffyBottems and Winter 'neechan for reviewing! Thanks to Rose202 for betaing and pointing out a couple little details that would have compromised the quality of this.<strong>

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><p><em>Sola+sugar=priceless. <em>

_Enough said. _

_Review?_

_-Quin_

_Bleach=Kubo Tite Sola=Quinhwyvar, yes? Also, I do not own any of the sweets that I listed above, though I have to wonder how Sola got her hands on them..._


	8. The Replacement

**The Replacement for the Replacement's Replacement who was Replaced at One Time or Another**

"Wha…?"

Okay, I blame this unintelligent response on several factors. Number one: it was five minutes before the crack of dawn, I believe at this time everybody except a certain Espada is not running on all cylinders. Number two: I was confused. Number three: some _other _Arrancar was standing there having a conversation with Ulquiorra. I didn't care if he conversed with a hippo or what. Best part? I wouldn't bat an eye at it.

I cared about the fact this other Arrancar was doing _my job._

My tea was served. By Ulquiorra's constant intake, he was still at least on his second cup. What memo had I missed?

The Arrancar turned to see the half-asleep me. She had goldilocks' curls on steroids and her heels were six inches too tall. How in the world she didn't fall over, I did not know. Thankfully everything else about her was normal.

This strange new person in my life raised an eyebrow, "Oh hello."

My mind was wandering between "crazy" and "kidnapped." I didn't respond. Plus, what was I supposed to say? Introduce myself? Excuse myself? Run before the cero hit? My half-asleep mind was doing cartwheels.

Finally, Ulquiorra noticed me and my too-late tea.

"You are late, trash."

That woke me up, "What? No. No! I am _not_. This is the time that I get up every single day."

The unknown Arrancar instantaneously fell into the lowest bow possible until she was talking between her legs, "I am sorry! I'll come later tomorrow. I thought you liked your tea early. I am sorry that I woke you."

I couldn't help myself, "It's 4:30 AM, if you came any _earlier_ it still might be the day before."

"No, I came at 4:00," she rose, "When I woke up around 3 it was today not yesterday. Why would it be anything else?"

"Who-" Ulquiorra cut me off as he set down his cup.

"Fraccion, respect your elders."

That was like a blow to the head. The shock glued my jawshut.

He continued in the dead silence, "This Arrancar is Alice, number 55, who has assigned to me by random draw. You will work with her. You will _not _argue over fruitless things or I will dismiss both of you."

I looked at Alice and asked the most oblivious question; "What kind of Spanish name is 'Alice'?"

"Actually it is English," she smiled at me like I was a five year old. I wanted to stuff my socks in my mouth and gag.

"That's so…" I looked over at Ulquiorra, who was already annoyed, "…nice."

"Thank you very much," she replied and swirled back to Ulquiorra. "Is there anything else I can do for you master?"

Skip the gagging on socks, I wanted to throw up. Come on, _master?_ Really? Considering the fact this Espada could work you to death and not blink, any title wasn't worth mentioning.

He mulled it over as he sipped his tea, "Come back after I have left and clean this room."

"Yes sir," Alice bowed again and with that, she left.

One less thing for me to clean, I supposed.

He focused on little old me. "_You_ will continue with your daily duties except my room. With that extra time, you will go into the basement and find the fountain pen that I discarded four and a half weeks ago."

"Are you going to keep her?" I asked the second that those high heels had fully exited eavesdropping range.

Ulquiorra sipped more of hisbeverage, "she can make tea better than you."

That phrase could mean a million different things.

"Is she staying on?"

"Are you fully aware that I can reassign all your orders to her?" Ulquiorra looked up and I felt like he was somehow shrinking me into the size of a pebble.

Unfortunately, I was used to being the size of a small rock and that didn't stop me from throwing it right back at him, "If you do that, I'll be bored. Who knows what will happen then, huh Ulquiorra?"

I grinned and left without hearing his response. Even though he threatened to throw me away with the metaphorical "trash", it was mild. I knew I wasn't the first Fraccion that Ulquiorra has had at one time or another. I also highly doubted that this was the end of the road for me. I hadn't done anything to threaten his status/job(s)/life/boss… yet, anyways.

I walked on, not worried a bit.

* * *

><p>Halfway through the day of the seemingly unending jobs, I went to check on my new "partner". She was scrubbing the desk of the newest ink stain. The bed wasn't made. The floor still wasn't mopped. I didn't have to guess that she hadn't done the laundry by the socks balled up in a corner. Ulquiorra was due back in a half an hour.<p>

"How's it going there?"

Goldilocks glanced up and then put all her weight back into the rag again, "Oh wonderfully. Don't worry about me, if I could just get this stain out I'll just be peachy."

Peachy? What in the world was that? All I could think of were flying peaches, Alice must like the fruit.

Wandering over casually, I leaned over to see her work. "You know, soap could help."

"I _had_ soap, It. Didn't. Help," she huffed.

I thought of leaving then, she would probably use her time on that stain and never get the rest of the room done in time. Ulquiorra would come back and dump her right then and there. I would be called in to finish what she started.

Sighing, I headed in the direction of the door, but I didn't make it. Guilt? Nah, more like the fact that I had done the same thing as she was doing too many times to just ignore it. Stopping at my cleaning cart, I snagged something. I bought back the bottle and lifted it high above the stain.

"I would move," Alice looked up at the nearly pouring bottle and made a mad dash away from the stain. Luckily for her, she made it. The liquid settled on the ink to eat away at it like a virus.

"I was very happy to know that this desk is naturally white, makes things like this really easy to clean up," I capped the bottle of bleach and started to really help her, "now listen up."

I walked back to the cart, "make his bed really well, Ulquiorra doesn't like any wrinkles. He finds one, and there goes your head. The floor needs to be swept and mopped, do only one and there will be little piles of dirt. Another no-no."

"Oh!" I turned back, "laundry needs to be picked up, with that, make sure that you put the coats up in numerical order, there's a creation number on each tag. Lowest number on the left, highest on the right. Same thing with his socks, shirts, pants, you know, the works."

"Today is Thursday so that means that you get the fun task of cleaning the nibs of all his pens and his ink pot," I tapped the top of the bottle as another thing came to mind, "Save the ink, he'll hate it if you waste all of it. Tomorrow is…scrub down all the walls day."

Alice looked overwhelmed, "lowest number on the right…?"

I was on a roll now. "After all that, you'll need to run down to the storage and grab four reams of paper, some white-out, a new pencil, three more ink bottles, and a new nib. Tomorrow is also the day when Ulquiorra has to go to that meeting with Grimmjow so he'll probably break a nib afterwards. Grimmjow, well, you know."

"Ink," She was blinking and the rag fell from her hand.

"Then, you see that stack of paper over there of _all_ those reports with the paper weight on top? They will have a name scribbled on top, each one has to be delivered _today_. Though, I would suggest doing it in the next hour or so because of the fact that's when everybody is most likely to be where they say that they will be," Alice was staring at the stack like it was evil, I tried to comfort her, "Oh, don't worry. About twenty of those are to Zommbari so that's only one trip. After lunch though, all bets are off and you might just end up giving them to the Fraccion who will end up forgetting. I know that I have done it enough times, haven't you?"

"Ni-ni-bbs…?"

She looked like she had been hit over the head a couple times. I was just trying to help her, at least that wasn't as bad as Szyeal who barely gave us enough time to sleep. This was a shock to her, I tried to figure out why.

"Wait a sec…what Espada did you have before?"

She shook her head from all my data, "I had Master Zommbari."

I ignored the 'Master' part, "Why did he let you go?"

She grinned unhappily, "I am lazy."

"Oh. I can't help you with that one."

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><p>I was lying on the roof enjoying my time off when Ulquiorra sonidoed to my spot.<p>

Looking up, I grinned at him, "What's up? Coming to apologize for how much I am underappreciated?"

"No," He stared at my face, looking for something that was clearly not there.

"What's up then?" I asked as the moon hung emptily in the sky behind him.

"How did you manage to _scare off _my new Fraccion in a matter of hours?"

I sat up too much surprise in my voice for my own good, "Really?"

"Yes, Alice apparently ran back to her previous Espada and _begged _him until he took her back."

I certainly did mean to do that. I was just telling her how things worked. Why would it have scared her off? All the Espada gave roughly the same amount of work from my experience.

"I had nothing to do with it."

"I do not believe it."

"Truly, I didn't. Maybe she decided that she didn't like working with the Espada of Emptiness. You know there isn't much room to improve in the ranks with you," I shrugged it off.

"I suppose it does not matter."

"Nope."

He turned away to probably disappear into oblivion, "Come and re-clean my room, she didn't even bother to finish."

Well that was a short break. Struggling to my feet, I wondered if Alice had left that bleach to eat away at the desk.

Before Ulquiorra left, he asked, "Did you find my pen?"

"No."

"You are more pathetic than Alice." With those words, he disappeared off to wherever he went.

I grinned at the spot where he was. "Not as lazy as her though."

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><p><strong>Thanks to MissFluffyBottems and Winter 'neechan for reviewing! Thanks to Rose202 for betaing, she has saved my skin ssooo many times now. I even had a sentence this week that was completely lacking a verb and was only five words long. <strong>

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><p><em>Rose202 and I were talking about Sola and she mentioned something along the lines of this...It was quite brilliant and it wouldn't stop bugging me. Hence, Sola's failed replacement. <em>

_It is still debatable if she_ tried _to scare that poor Arrancar off or if she was just trying to be "helpful"_.

_Review?_

_-Quin_

_Ulquiorra and co.=Tite Kubo, Sola=Quinhwyvar, Alice=completely disowned._


	9. Precipitation is Troublesome

Precipitation is Troublesome

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><p><span>Precipitation (pri,si-pu'tey-shun)<span>

Definition:

The falling to earth of any form of water (rain, snow, hail, sleet or mist)

The destruction of everything, including one's sanity in which the above happens.

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><p>It was morning. Couldn't it still be that wonderful 2 to 4 AM in the morning? When I could slam my head on the pillow and just snooze the night away. This was not the case. This was never the case. Today though, it was even harder to accept the fact.<p>

The pitter-patter didn't help me wake up either. I didn't know what the sound was, but a wild guess was that Gin was messing up the electricity again. I yawned and started staring at my shoes, the only item I hadn't put on yet. Everything else had found its way on my person, but my shoes hated me.

That was the moment that Ulquiorra walked in the room. No, walked wasn't the right word, more like _dripped_ into the room. Blinking my vision across the small space, I didn't bother wondering why the Espada was dripping wet.

"What brings you to my humble abode at," I checked the clock, "4:12 AM in the morning? Shouldn't you still be dreaming of rainclouds and other depressing things?"

He looked at me and I sleepily did my best to grin at him. It probably looked more like a grimace.

"It's raining."

These words went in one ear and out the other, "Oh. That's nice."

"Trash, _it's raining,_" there was some emphases that I missed in there, I was sure of it.

"Okay."

And with that, Ulquiorra left. Yawning again, I went back to thinking of the most inefficient way to get up and put those shoes on. Somewhere between crab-walking across the three foot space and back flipping into them, Ulquiorra returned.

This time, he came with his version of coffee otherwise known as a cold bucket of water. This collided with my face. It did not make me a happy camper.

"What in the world Ulquiorra?" I asked, more like shouted, as I wiped the water from my eyes.

He looked down at me, "I will repeat myself. It is raining."

"_what?" _

"There is a large raincloud that has to covered the whole circumference of Hueco Mundo," he dumped the bucket next to my bed, "No Espada has been able to spot the end of it."

I reached for my boots, "really?"

"Yes. I need you to handle a situation that is beyond you caliber of thinking," the Espada sighed, "but I have no choice."

"Well that's encouraging," I mumbled as I did the last strap.

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><p>It wasn't a waterfall. That would be putting it next to rainbows and unicorns. No, the water was coming in through the ceiling like several showers on full blast. Not like a little metaphor is really going to make you see what I saw.<p>

"Just a wild guess here," I kicked a puddle that was forming near his bed, "Las Noches _wasn't_ built to be waterproof."

"And why should it be?" he watched a report on the relationship between Shinigami and Hollows drift by, "by the general knowledge of the Arrancar there was no such thing as a 'rainstorm' or even 'water' in Hueco Mundo."

I smiled at his dismay, "yet, it's raining."

The closed eye, annoyed look came on his face, "There is no reason for you to tell me that trash. Now, save my possessions from being destroyed."

Maybe it was the lack of tea, but his stuff was long gone into the world that only pens, paper and ink could know of. The best part was, as we held this tiny conversation, three more leaks burst from the ceiling. They were just adding to the enormously of my new task.

"I must get back to the other Espada and assist them in their task," He turned to leave, but I was dying of curiosity.

"What are the Espada doing? Going swimming?"

"Slightly, besides Yammy, all the Espada has to help reinforce the beams that hold Las Noches in the sand. Because of the fact that the beams are made of sandstone," Ulquiorra looked as bored as if he was reading the daily newspaper, "there is a great possibility that the building could fall out from underneath itself and collapse. This would kill every moving thing inside, including you."

Now I was a bit worried, being crushed by these white walls was not really something on my to-do list, "why are you still here?"

Happily, I was talking to air.

* * *

><p>Save the stuff. How stupid was that? I counted up fifty six different drips from the ceiling. All of them dripping, squirting and spitting at different times making it impossible to figure out a systematic way to catch them.<p>

I was on the edge of my patience.

Buckets had been a failure. Pots and pans really hadn't been much better. Now, it had come to the most desperate but brilliant attempt. Using deconstructed plastic bags, I had ended up making a slide of sorts. The plastic caught the water and led it into one old bathtub. Snakes of the plastic bags wound around the room. The construction took two hours to build but it was worth the effort.

I sat back in the chair. The tip-tap was everywhere now. Not a single room had been saved from the leaks. What Lord Aizen would do with this slop of a palace was beyond me. Luckily for both of us though, the walls hadn't collapsed.

That's when I heard the rip. Then the tear. My whole creation went crashing to the ground. Water galloped away from its barriers inches thick. I looked down in my newly formed island of a chair.

It was raining in Hueco Mundo. Ulquiorra's room was a pool. Ulquiorra himself was probably waist deep in some quicksand. Who knew how Grimmjow was handling the wet. _I_ was cold and wet. Yammy had just come tromping by with two large buckets with an army of Arrancar behind him. Best of all, it wasn't even seven in the morning yet. It was ridiculous. So I did the only thing that could be done anymore. Throwing back my head, I just started laughing.

It was about an hour later that Ulquiorra came back. I was sitting on his desk, a better and drier place than his chair. He was standing in the three inches of water that had taken over the entire inside of the place. None of the other fraccion had held out much long than me. It was simply just too much.

Never before have I seen him so bedraggled looking or tired. What did I, his supporting servant, do to comfort him?

I raised my cup of his tea to him and took a nice long drink of it, "Did you have fun at the pool?"

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><p><strong>Thanks to .13, AizheNi, Rose202, Winter 'neechan and TheCrimsonKiss for reviewing! Quite amusing actually, I almost did not post that chapter because I thought that it was awful. I changed my mind now.<strong>

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><p><em>This is actually based off something that happened to me, at 1 in the morning and created a large pool in my room. It was<em> great (sarcasm). _Anyways, I want to say that I am very excited about the new developments in Bleach. I won't get into anything because I know there are readers that only watch the anime. Others will know that I am inferring to! There is a possibility of...well. er. stuff._

_Also, next week is going to be about Valentine's Day and honestly, I need some inspiration. What do you think should happen on that day humm? I might use your idea, but there areno promises. _

_Review?_

_-Quin_

_Ulquiorra and co=Tite Kubo, Sola=Quinhywvar _


	10. Truth of the Horror of Valentine's Day

**The Truth of the Horror of Valentine's Day**

"Well," Ulquiorra stared at me for a second longer than usual before settling back down to the desk, "you cannot seem to do _anything _right this week. Perhaps is this your punishment?"

I didn't quite want to respond. Maybe it was something about the shoes. I couldn't quite free up the mental energy needed to respond without toppling over. A comment like that though, could not go without a response. I risked it.

"The first thing you think of when you see this is punishment?" That did it. I lost my balance. The tall, narrow high heels and I landed straight on our collective buns.

The Espada looked up again, "with the way that you are hobbling around and being completely inefficient, yes, it is a punishment."

I tried to stand. Somewhere between putting my right foot in front of the other, I went all rocky and hit the turf. Give me a break, it was my first time in six inch heels with barely enough sole on it to get traction. In addition to that I should add the poofy, lacey and pink dress that had replaced my usual outfit.

"This. Is. Your. Fault," I puffed as I set my feet under me, trying not to flash the world with my short skirt. Wobblingly, I rose.

Just to fall again.

He didn't bother watching my fumblings, "_Really_? How in that little pea-brained mind of yours is that true?"

"You had a birthday," I glared at the shoes, wishing in some way that I could get them to turn into ash so I could just walk around bare-footed the rest of the day. That would have been so much better than these things.

"You do have a brain the size of a pea, I cannot help the fact that I had a birthday," Ulquiorra commented as he dotted his I's and crossed his T's.

I took one of my feet and carefully set it up right again and continued the process with the other foot, "No, I am not stupid. Lord Aizen was quite smitten with your little birthday party and decided that we should celebrate every American holiday out there."

"If fault must be placed on someone, it would be you. If you recall, _I_ did _not_ want a party of any sort. There was a certain useless fraccion involved."

"Oh hush it," I grumbled too quietly for him to hear and finally made it to a standing position.

I stumbled to the wall and gripped it. "I really don't whose fault it is. Because of you I have wings."

Shaking his head, probably in shame, he went on writing, "I don't see why you have this notion to wear such clothes."

Either he was pretending to be stupid or he didn't actually know why.

It took five minutes but I managed to hobble across the room, "Ulquiorra, what's the date?"

"February 14th." He tapped the pen on the desk, "Also known as Valentine's Day, the day in which frivolous humans follow their emotions into permanent situations that they will regret for the duration of the rest of their sorry little lives. Is _that_ what you are inferring to, trash?"

I wobbled and gripped his desk for support, "It seems that you like the holiday."

"That is sarcasm, I will assume," he resumed writing, andtwo seconds later his nib snapped. Ink went everywhere; my face, his face and all over the form that was a sentence away from being finished.

He sighed and wiped the ink off, "you brought me a defective nib."

I looked closer and grinned, "I think someone was pressing a bit too hard."

What was left of the nib was literally at least two inches in the had driven the poor thing into the stone by pure force. Frowning, he lifted the carcass of the perfectly good pen from its little hole. It dripped onto the desk, yet another thing for me to clean up later. Of course, he didn't notice. That was inferior thought in his mind.

"This," kindly he casually flicked a tiny bit more ink into my face, "is defective."

I shrugged and turned to get a new one from the storage room. "Whatever."

The scowl on his face was tiny but ithere. I wondered what had set him off but didn't try to analyzed it. Ulquiorra was an endless puzzle. I had stopped guessing what the result would be long a ago.

As I hobbled down the hall, his disgruntlement itched my mind. The stupidity was that personally, I didn't care what holiday it was; it was a change of pace. Love, whatever that was, didn't happen in Las Noches. How could it? The concept was enough, though, to spur Lord Aizen to direct Gin to "dress up" the palace for the holiday.

The pink and ruffles had invaded everywhere. All the "minor" Arrancar AKA me, myself, and I were all forced to put on these stupid dresses that were themed after a dog called "cupid" outfit. Or was the cupid thing a god? Just thinking about all of it made me tumble from the heels.

I rolled over with a sigh and stared up at the decorations on the ceiling. Then it hit me. There it was, right in front of my face. Gin had gone overboard in one thing that was a sore subject around here, especially for Ulquiorra. I asked him once about it and almost got my head blown off.

All around, in the halls, pasted on the walls, sewn onto my dress and on all the food, were literally probably hundreds of _hearts._ Never had I felt bad for that Espada, but this was the reason for his cantankerousness.

That did it. I knew what I had to do. These shoes though, wouldn't cut the job. Quickly I undid the flaps and tossed them aside. Unknown to me, I threw them straight into a certain blind guy's face.

He wasn't very happy about that.

* * *

><p>About an hour later, I made it back to the grumpy Espada's room.<p>

"I thought you had been trampled by a Hollow for how long it took you to come back," he stated. "Do you understand how much of my time you have wasted?"

"Nope. Nor do I care," I happily called back as I crashed through the door, my hands full.

Pausing as the door shut itself behind me, I amended my sentence, "actually, I almost got crushed by a certain Tosen character, but thankfully I knew this place a tiny bit better than him."

"What happened to you?" Ulquiorra started turning in his seat, "you seem even more obnoxiously annoying than before you left. The meanin-"

He never made it through that rest of that sentence, because I was upon him. Dumping the box at my feet, I unwrapped a chocolate heart and shoved it in his mouth. I caught him so off guard he swallowed before he realized that what was going on.

The gagging ensued and I dove into my stolen box of candy to find another piece.

"What is meaning of this trash?" He rubbed his throat like he was looking for the chocolate.

I looked up at him and showed him the candy in my hand, "I wanted to give you a heart."

"You have no reason-no authority-no permission-no-"

"Oh shut up and eat more chocolate."

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><p><strong>Thanks to IControlAllYaoi and Winter 'neechan for reviewing! Also, thanks goes to the aforementioned people for supplying ideas, it was fun! Thanks to Rose202 for being betaing this. The beginning was such a train wreck, I am sure that Rose had to roll up her sleeves to even get started...<strong>

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><p><strong>Another holiday check! I wonder what that leaves...but whatever is left, it's good times ahead! Valentine's Day+Ulquiorra=issues. I really couldn't past his little "upset" with the concept that there is no such thing as a heart. So I worked with it and it turned out well. <strong>

**Next weeks going to be different, I know that some of you have been craving for some more serious chapters. Next week you are going to get it. Trust me. Here's a hint. It's going to be called (hopefully) "Reflection not on Glass". **

**Any ideas anyone? **

**Review?**

**-Quin**

**Kubo Tite=Bleach, Ulquiorra, etc Quinhywvar=Sola and the uneaten chocolate (yum!)**


	11. The Baked, Pathetic, and Tasty Noodles

**The Baked, Pathetic****, and Tasty Noodles**

I grinned at the pot of boiling water; I had been waiting a half an hour for the thing to come to a boil. Nobody had put an emphasis on eating in the construction of this place that I called home. Apparently with a tight budget, getting a quick heating up stove top wasn't on the top of the to-do list.

Ripping open the colorful package, I dumped in the dried noodles. The water frothed in complaint. Five minutes. That's all I needed to wait before my stomach would be full.

"What are you doing?" I didn't have to think who that voice belonged. Didn't the Espada have something better to do then to watch my every _single_ move?

I didn't look behind me to reply. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing my annoyed face. Instead I watched a giant bubble explode in the center of the quickly thawing noodles.

"I'm making some dinner," I replied in when I felt like it.

"You are being wasteful. Your prepared dinner will be ready in an hour."

I looked closely over my shoulder at the taller person, "If you didn't know, my 'prepared dinner' stinks like old fish and tastes about the same. And it's the same thing every day."

"Baked…dry…tasteless noodles in a plastic bag are better than the food the Lord Aizen provides for you?" He watched the noodles twitch a bit in the water.

Revealing the tiny, brightly colored packet in my hand, I grinned. "You've never had ramen have you? I have to put in the favor. This is chicken flavor. It's quite good."

"I do not believe that."

"Fine, don't," I drew out a chopstick from a drawer and tested to see how far the noodles had cooked, "if you stick around, I'll let you have a bite.**"**

I didn't think that he would accept. Actually, it was a way to get him out of my way. Lowly human food was beyond him. Well, I meant that tea was about the only human thing that he would even admit to have a connection with. Even for that, you had to strangle it out of him.

I lifted the chopstick, the noodles pulled and stretched like white worms, completely intending for it to look gross and completely uneatable.

"I will try it," The noodles fell back in with a _spoolsh_. Ulquiorra took a seat and put on one of his emotionless faces.

I was speechless. I didn't even have a single smart-alecky response in my mind. Silently, I drained out the water and added the contents of the package. Dumping the long noodles into two bowls, I set the stuff in front of the Espada and went to sit in the other seat.

"Who said you could dine at the same table as an Espada?" Ulquiorra asked calmly.

I sat down in the chair anyways, "The Arrancar that just slaved over your dinner."

"That does not give you areason to sit here," He sighed.

I shoved my chopsticks in my dish and rounded up some of the noodles, "you are not going to win this one Ulquiorra. This is the kitchen and anything is fair game in here. Just try the noodles already."

The Espada looked skeptically down at the food and poked it. Carefully taking his chopstick, he wound some of it up and ate it. Or, you I say that this would have happened if we weren't talking about ramen noodles.

The wrapping part went over fine. It was when he tried to shove it in his mouth that he had problems. The noodles stretched and wiggled as they left the bowl. They slogged up and plastered themselves down Ulquiorra's chin. A white beard formed. His eyebrows scrunched up as he realized the wet noodles of a mess that was hanging out of his mouth.

I was barely holding back laughter.

It was the uncharacteristic slurp that did it.

I fell out of my chair howling.

"Enough," Ulquiorra pushed his way out of the chair and stood. I tried my best but ended up coughing.

"It's just too funny," I smiled as I sat up.

"I said enough, your futile attempts to humiliate me with awful noodles are not going to work," he turned and left without another word.

Slowly I picked myself up and went back to eating the ramen. They weren't half bad, too bad that Ulquiorra didn't like them. Ah well, the less the merrier in my opinion.

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><p><strong>Thanks to TheCrimsonKiss, IControlAllYaoi, Meggy, Winter 'neechan, &amp; DemonColours for reviewing! Also thanks to Rose202 for betaing and <em>kindly <em>reminding me that Sola and Ulquiorra do **NOT** live in American and use chopsticks instead of forks. :)**

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><p><em>I <em>really_ like ramen noodles, I would eat them every day if I could. I know this wasn't the chapter that I said that I would post this week...but things happened and this is what I had. You know how that one goes, yes? I just realized that I am posting two food related chapters together...oh well. You probably didn't even know that until I said something, right?_

_Review?_

_-Quin_

_Kubo Tite=Ulquiorra and company Quinhywvar=Sola, yes?_


	12. Shattered Reflection

**Shattered Reflection**

There were many ways of making a go of it. Somehow, mine was immensely disappointing. That's what I thought anyway, as I curled up in a ball in the corner opposite of the bed. I had the sweats. The shaking wasn't helping either.

Hot, cold, tired, hyper, grumpy, happy, hungry, full, it just boiled down to yet another night I couldn't sleep.

I rested my head up against the icy stone, how much more could I take this…?

I supposed, as long as I could, then beyond.

What other choice did I have?

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><p>"…after that, you will need to go and talk to him about the mission that he apparently failed to even embark on. Such trash, all of them. They don't understand that they are expected to work, do they think Lord Aizen created them to lie around?"<p>

My eyes slid shut. A couple days agoI had found out how to stay on my feet with practically no energy, yesterday I figured how to swallow yawns and today it seemed I had learned to mentally shut down and not know it. That was of course until Ulquiorra's words entailed something about bananas dancing around monkeys.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that last sentence?"I mumbled and pried an eye open.

The Espada was looking at me with those laser eyes again, "what is wrong with you?"

For someone told to be incredibly smart, today he was proving to be not the brightest crayon in the box.

"Nothin'" I shook the sleep cloud away from my head. "So you want me to go to this person and do what again?"

"You will do nothing," he shifted his attention back to the papers on the desk.

"Okay," I tipsily turned, "I'm off then to fulfill your majesty's wonderful orders."

"No," the Espada dipped the pen in the ink to accent the one-liner.

I wondered what I had missed, "_No?_"

"No," he looked up straight at me, "instead, you are going to stand there and tell me about your insomnia."

I had looked in the mirror before I went about my daily tasks. I knew that I looked worst than usual but for the self-absorbed Ulquiorra to know something was wrong was scary. The tipoff was probably somewhere between the dark black eye circles or the fact that I could hardly stand without tipping over.

"I don't have insomnia," the fake grin ate at my face, "you see Ulquiorra, insomnia is for silly people. I am not a silly person."

The Espada's face leveled off at annoyance, "do not lie, trash."

"Why would I?" I shrugged the 'trash' comment off. "Now do you want me to go and get this stuff done when you want it done _or _when you're done interrogating me?"

"I don't have to interrogate you. I already know the true**.** I have seen the tapes of your sad little self wandering the past week and a half."

Oops. The grin dropped like a stone and I wished that I hadn't started trying to walk off my stupid security cameras, I should have thought a bit more. Then again, I was too tired to think. It was a bit of a problem.

"Ah…yeah you see, I'm out at night because I always forget-forget-um….to…" I ended the flawless lie with a sigh and I leaned back against the wall, "Yeah. Why not? Sure, let's call it insomnia."

"Do you know what I have in front of me?" I closed my eyes against his words.

"Bunnies? Birds? A multicolored rainbow?"

He didn't even bother trying to attack my sarcasm, "Ten different reports from different security personnel saying the same thing."

This time, I didn't respond.

"I have let them stack up for about four days," Ulquiorra paused and I heard him spread the papers across the desk, "I cannot ignore them any longer."

Opening my eyes, I stared at the white flawless floor, "they're ARN reports…right?"

"Yes."

The Arrancar Relapse Notion. Memories of a long forgotten past are remembered, that's the rough explanation. There's so much conflict within us when it happens, it all becomes useless. It turns into your run-of-the-mill version of insanity.

An executive decision is made from there…swords are drawn…then it's quietly put to an end.

And now, I supposed, I wouldn't be far behind them.

The Espada sighed, "What am I going to _do_ with you, fraccion?"

"Sign the paper and send me off on my merry way to be killed?" It was the driest question that I had ever asked.

Twisting the pen in his hand, he looked down at the paper, "So you do not deny it."

I thought about it for a second before I answered, "No. But I'm better than it. I won't let this… thing ruin my life. I'm better than it."

Funny thing, 'my life'. If you wanted to be technical about it, I was already way past dead**.**

"Explain to me what is happening," Sitting back in his chair, it was his turn to close his eyes.

Just the slight mention of it brought back the pain and the overwhelming sense of joy**.** It was weird to feel the emotion, especially since I knew that it was slowly ripping me apart.

"I've been having this dream," I started off awkwardly, "and then afterwards I wake up and I'm sick. I always feel all these weird emotions… then after a long time, it all fades away**.** I've tried to go back to sleep. It just starts all over again."

"What happens in the dream?"

The irony of it all hit right then and there. "The _human_ me dies. A beam falls on the back of my head and I die right there and then."

Together we fell into silence. There wasn't much to say to that.

Finally, he opened his eyes, "I am giving you five more days, if there is no improvement by then, it is over."

I smiled but he cut me off before I could say anything more, "You should also know that I will be leaving for a classified mission in four days. No one knows about it, so do not be stupid. Now, fill my tea and leave."

As I put my hand on the doorknob, he spoke up again, "Why are you a hollow?"

It seemed so funny to ask, such a simple question to such a complicated answer, but I answered anyways.

"I became a hollow because I was in the middle of playing the biggest piano performance of my life."

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><p>The days passed through my fingers like water. Nights into days and then back again into those awful nights. The dream sapped away everything. I couldn't feel my fingers anymore. I couldn't see color anymore in this grey world. I couldn't even smile. I lost so much weight a leaf could have knocked me over.<p>

I was barely moving. I was barely talking. I was barely even thinking.

Ulquiorra became a distant mountain, so far, far away. He kept his promise but it was too late. He didn't even look anymore.

The tea cup shattered. The contents went everywhere on the floor.

How could I have dropped it? It was in my fingers just a second ago.

Broken porcelain was everywhere. Their wet reflection showed nothing but exhaustion.

I crumpled to the floor and stared at them. I would have to get up and clean up the pieces. Would it be the same? Would it be the same for me? Shattered, broken, unfixable, just swept away?

I don't know how long I sat there. Maybe I just did not want to get back up. Ulquiorra was gone on that mission of his. I could stay here for a while.

Resting my head against my knees, I closed my eyes and let the world slip away. Just for a second, I would.

Of course, I never got a break, because in that second,

All hell broke loose in Las Noches.

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><p><strong>Thanks to Lucky. Unlucky .13, Winter 'neechan and TheCrimsonKiss for reviewing! Also, thanks to Rose202 who fought more grammatical monsters in this then you can ever guess.<strong>

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><p><strong>We have a special little section today because something amazing happened yesterday. Yesterday Winter 'neechan gave me my first piece of fan art ever! I won't get into the long cliche story of how when I started writing fanfiction I <strong>dreamed**of fanart. It's quite the ****sob-story. The end result is this: I am ecstatic. It's an awesome picture of Sola that can be found on Deviantart just by searching "Sola Kiri" Or by this link http:/winter-oneechan.(remove)deviantart(me).(please) com/art/Sola-Kiri-286818305**

**I am honored. Today, Winter'neechan gets her own section. That's how honored I am.**

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><p><em>I bet none of you were looking for this chapter, Right? I'm not one for cliffhangers, but this was just too good to past up. I am really going to leave it at that because I REFUSE to spoil how this one ends. <em>

_Review?_

_-Q_

_Kubo Tite=Ulquiorra Quinhywvar=_Barely Alive Sola, easy enough yes?__


	13. Crushing the Pieces

**Crushing the Pieces**

犠牲無き世界なと ありはしない

"_There is no world without sacrifice_

気付かないのか

_Are you unaware?_

我々は

_We are_

血の海に灰を浮かべた地獄の名を

_in a sea of blood, ashes floating in hell_

仮に世界と

_Crying the name of_

呼んでいるのだ

_A fading world."_

Do you know how high the security is in Las Noches?

No, let me rephrase that question: Do you know how many deadly hollow-turned-humanish people live under one roof?

That number, my friend, is quite large and most other hollows/humans/shinigami/things with a brain know better than to even come close to this place. One fairly large hollow came wandering in the front door once; he lasted less than two minutes. That's just how fast this powerful force can mobilize and crush things. I am not bragging. I really am telling the truth.

Now, let me narrow in on the problem at hand. I sat in the middle of the floor with my hands on my ears, trying to ignore the loud sirens. I had been doing this for half an hour. This "powerful" army was still searching for the intruder. This "intelligent" force was failing pathetically.

Really, I know Las Noches is big and all, but really?

I was too weak to do anything, plus I needed the direct order from Ulquiorra to join. The Quatro was still on that classified mission of his.

The blaring noise went straight in from my ears and shook my brain up and down. It was causing a headache like a hammer beating a rhythm against my head. I couldn't quite tell where this annoyance of a brain attack thing was coming from.

The teacup that I had dropped was still on the floor. Why bother if this strange thing kept wandering this place? I peeled my hands away from my ears; the alarms were still screaming their anthem. Groping forward, I winced as the metaphorical hammer started pounding twice as fast. Oh well, I had felt worst.

My feet found the ground and I rose to figure out what to do about this shattered mess on the ground. I couldn't quite remember why I dropped it. That was right, I was tired. Funny thing, I didn't feel tired anymore, actually I had _energy. _It was a crazed, hyped, nervous kind that made me want to run in circles or bang some cranium against a wall.

I settled with trying to pick up the pieces of the teacup. I had barely made it to the other side of the room before a certain shinigami interrupted me.

Poking his head in the door, he shouted over the sirens, "Hey ya Sola, do ya know where Ulquiorra dis?"

I jerk up to from looking for the broom, "What? Yes-wait-_no, _I haven't seen him, he's on that classified mission right now."

"Wha?" The boggled shock in Gin's voice made me stop.

My headache revved up a couple more notches, even with this strange energy it didn't help that I was having issues, "That mission. Maybe Lord Aizen didn't tell you about it. It's classified."

Gin completely entered in the room, "yea?"

"Yup," I replied and went back to looking for the broom. He would leave. Once again, I was wrong. He stayed and after a second of thinking, piped up again.

"If dat's true, then why's Aizen makin' a hissy fit over Ulquiorra not reportin' in?"

All missions were commissioned by Lord Aizen. If he was as smart as everybody thought he was, there would be no reason for him not to know of Ulquiorra's little escapade. I looked at Gin and shrugged. Reaching down, I couldn't see to find the broom. I took the bucket instead, why not do it by hand? It wouldn't take too long.

"Ya _sure _he's gone on dis 'classified' mission?" He inched closer.

I lugged the bucket over and set upon myself the _wonderful_ task of cleaning up my own mess, "Yes. He didn't tell me anything though. He wouldn't even look down if I was bleeding to death in front of him. Ulquiorra Schiffer doesn't give a hoot."

"Yar comin' with me and telling Lord Aizen that." I looked up. Of all things that I could do, going and seeing Lord Aizen was not one of them.

At this second, it seemed strange but everything that I was having issues with seemed to be absorbed in this headache. An eternal banging in the head I could deal with, if it didn't mean that I was going to go insane. Going somewhere could possibly upset anything and/or everything.

Sadly, Gin didn't seem to realize this because I found myself being marched down the hall two seconds later.

The more I walked, the harder the banging in my head rocked. It made my legs jelly-like and I did my best not to sway and fall over.

"Wha' sup with ya? Yar all quiet on me," my chaperon of mutated types asked. I didn't even notice, something about trying not to faint can make someone forget about the concept of small talk.

"Oh nothing," I didn't think my comment made much of an impression of 'nothing'. I didn't notice though, I felt like an axe was trying to chop my head in two.

He walked in front of me, crouched down and squinted deep into my eyes, "Yar 'nothing' ain't nothin', what's up?"

I didn't think of myself as crazy. Maybe a little deranged for doing everything that I did, but not a loony. That was questioned at this second, as I heard the laughing. The sound sliced through everything. It echoed and then disappeared.

This was a problem.

"Yar good there?"

That's when I crashed back into my body. My eyes were the size of dinner plates and I was frozen stiff. Blinking, I forced myself to move.

"I'm fine. Just _fine._ Let's just get this over with," Sidestepping him, I hoped Gin would be unobservant. Thankfully, for once, he was.

Was this headache more than what I thought it was?

"Yar real tired lookin'" I frowned as he caught up, "yar ain't sleepin?"

I didn't even know how I looked, there was a little something called freaky disembodied laughter to worry about. "I've slept better. Ulquiorra has been working me to death. Do you know if he gives vacations?"

"Aww…Sola! You really have to eat _something!_"

That's when I almost fell over. Gin didn't just tell me to eat something and by the way he was still mulling over my question he hadn't heard it either. Great. Just what I needed. Random voices talking in my head telling me to eat.

"Naw…he's too stub'orn for dat one," He patted along, "I dont thinks he sleeps."

I grinned past my worry, Ulquiorra not sleeping would just mean that I would become an undead zombie.

"Aww…come on Sola! You really have to eat something!"

That grin fell off. There were two voices and _both _of them were tell me to eat something. Maybe I should listen to the voices and then they would shut up. Something in me highly doubted it.

"Oh yeah! If you don't eat, how are you going to make it through your amazing performance?"

Voice #1 piped up again randomly and I stumbled. I thank my lucky stars that Gin was too busy smiling to notice. With Lord Aizen just a skip and a turn away, I wondered if I could keep these girls under wraps until afterwards.

"Ya didn't agre' with me," Gin asked, "does trashy face sleep?"

Oh right. Gin. Completely forgot about him.

"I don't think he would like you to call him that."

"I ain't to his face if dats what ya mean," he walked up to the huge white door, "here we be."

I sighed, prayed to the ceiling that nothing completely horrible would happen, and then followed him in.

The big head hondcho was clearly not pleased with something. I didn't know the guy enough to know what it was, but just by the way that he was staring out at the desert, he was _not _happy. If I owned a veranda to look out at a scene that never changed, I would be pretty mad too.

He didn't even both turning around, "I sent you to find Ulquiorra Schiffer and you come back with his fraccion. I am disappointed Gin."

That was the second that the world kinda just switched, like someone had flipped the channel. I was sitting at a table in the middle of an old time restaurant. The two girls my age sat on either side and they were laughing again. I got a chance to look down. Oh look, there was the food that they wanted me to eat.

"We got you out from that hole of an apartment that you were brooding in," the black haired one to the right commented, "So I guess that's worth something."

"Ya I kno' but ya see, she knows were yar missin' Shiffer is," Gin's voice brought me back to the world that I was really in. This was all starting to have an effect. My stomach wanted to throw up. That would be a problem, especially since the person who I was standing in front philosophy was "weak must die, Tosen do the honors."

Lord Aizen turned around, "Well fraccion, inform me of Ulquiorra Shiffer's whereabouts."

"My apartment isn't a hole in the ground and I was _not _brooding. Just…just staring at my sheet music making sure that I knew it!" I told them, really, I knew better than to argue with Sarah. She had a way of knowing the truth and figuring out the way of setting it right.

That was especially disturbing. I just spoke but I didn't. I swallowed and looked up at the waiting face.

"Uh…you sent him on that classified mission, sir."

The one across from me sighed in her seat dramatically and grinned, "We aaalllll believe you. This is your big break; you're famous from here out."

The crowd around us roared with other conversations, "No way! Don't you understand? I'm just the understudy that got a chance."

I picked up my cup and took a drink. It kinda tasted like…wine? Why in the world would I drink that? I drank it for nerves. Right, I barely sat in the chair without vibrating, I had so much pent up energy.

Channel change: Lord Aizen was still staring at me. I pulled it together for another try,"Sir, you sent Ulquiorra Schiffer on a classified mission. I do not know his whereabouts."

"Ah, of course."

"How can you say that?" Elizabeth, the one next to me, shook a fork in my face, "I've heard you practice, you sound great. Everybody is going to fall off their seats, including me."

Sarah piped up again and pushed my plate of food closer, "You're only going to do well if you _eat _something. Come on now."

Lord Aizen looked away for a second and then continued, "That's right. Ulquiorra was misinformed, that mission was set to happen tomorrow. When he returns, tell him that I wish to see him."

"Sorry, I can't. I won't. It's just that I would rather play on an empty stomach," kinda a lie, I didn't think I could stomach the food.

I shook out of it and looked up at the leader of all of this, "May I be excused? I am not feeling very well."

"Eat! You've got to!"

There was that little master smile of his, "Of course you can."

""Thank-you-y_ou know if you say that again I will strangle you, you know that right?_" I clapped my hands over my mouth.

"No violence at a table of friends," Elizabeth ordered and clapped my back, "that's just bad karma."

I smiled at her, "I know, I know. Honestly though, thank you for dragging me to dinner. It's really helping."

"_Excuse me_?"

I stumbled back, the throne room bearing down at me at all angles, "I'm sorry, so sorry. I must go, please excuse me."

I bolted towards the open door.I could still taste the wine in my mouth. Why did this happen now?

"Gin, the door."

"Yep," the shinigami shut the exit before I had a chance. I turned back to look at the man in front of me.

"Okay! Okay! Before we head off to hear you play, together we put some money together and we got you a little something," The one across the table dug into her bag, "I know it's not much. It's what we could afford."

In her hands, there was tiny little package wrapped in newspaper. She smiled, reached across the table and put it in my hands. It fit perfectly into my palm.

"You didn't have to…" I mumbled as I ripped off the paper. Inside was a beautiful hand carved bird, wings flared, long beak open and glass eyes staring at the world around it. The dark wood showed off its long legs that seemed to be intertwined around each other. An ibis.

"Oh…"

Elizabeth blubbered, "We knew you loved birds. I saw this at this vendor from Egypt and…I, we thought it could be a new good luck charm. You know, for tonight and all."

"Thank you, I love it. I bet it'll give me good luck tonight."

My breath went tight in my chest as I stared at Lord Aizen. He looked cold and huge in the room.

"My friend, have you been hiding something? Are you feeling well?" He asked as his hand drifted to his sword.

"I've just got a bit of the flu," the lack of sleep shook through my body now.

He looked closer and then simply stated, "You cannot lie, you know this. I know everything."

"My Lord, I have returned," a voice, a very real voice said behind me. It hit me like a bat to the back of the head. I couldn't believe it. So I looked to make sure.

Ulquiorra.

Ulquiorra Shiffer was standing at the door.

"You can't thank us now," Sarah said over her empty plate of food, "the way to thank us is to go out there and play your heart out."

I laughed, "I don't think I could play my heart out, but if I could, I would tonight."

"Oh come on, Sola, really? It's your feelings. You would give up that?"

I looked up from my concentration, "Oh? No, I said the _organ_ not the things that would come along with it."

The room broke into a peaceful silence. I enjoyed the constant support of these two friends that sat on either side. It had been a hard year, I knew it, now I was going to make it all better.

"You know, I better go," I placed the gift in my pocket, "I'll agree with you for once, I bet that I'll blow their socks off."

Elizabeth grinned, "If you don't - _the drugs must have taken effect of her system."_

I found myself sitting on the floor somehow staring at the floor. Someone was standing at my side calmly talking away like a bee buzzing in my ear. My brain was frozen custard. I couldn't even think anymore.

"I was not aware of the testing, please inform Szeyal that he needs to write down this experiment for our little test-tube."

"Huh…?" I blinked and wondered where I was, I didn't know. Was this me? Was that me? Where was I? What was…I?

A couple seconds later, a hand grabbed me and dragged me away.

I blinked at the white floors and struggled a bit then went limp. When did I become this _tired?_

"Trash, pick yourself up."

I looked up, a pale guy was holding onto my arm. He had eyes like jade and streaks down his cheeks. Wearing white, he matched the walls.

"_w-w-wh-who are you?"_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to DemonColours, Winter 'neechan, Rose202 and TheCrimsonKiss for all reviewing! Speaking of that, I am amazed, how in the world did these <strong>drabbles **get forty reviews? I must be doing something right! Thanks to Rose202 who killed my writer's block and who pushed me through finishing the chapter. I owe ya one!**_

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><p><em><strong><strong>This really was supposed to be a two-shot, but emmm...it's a three now! Rose really helped me this time around, I have gone through three different drafts of this and she's helped me though it. That's the reason it's a day late. These chapters are very important to me. They've got to be perfect._

_I still refuse to spoil it so I'll shush up now. _

_Review?_

_-Quin_

_Kubo Tite=Ulquiorra and company. The Human Sola, Arrancar Sola and Human Sola inside Arrancar Sola all belong to...you guessed it, Quinhywvar._


	14. Melding of the Heart

**Melding of the Heart**

"_Out of suffering_

_have emerged the strongest souls._

_The most massive characters_

_Are seared with scars."_

_-Khalil Gibran_

The man stopped dead still and looked down his arm at me. "What did you just say?"

I pulled hard, trying to get his fingers off my wristbut he was stronger than me. He looked like a stick, why couldn't he act that way? After seconds of flopping around, I stopped.

"Could you _please _let me go and tell me what's going on Mr.?" His reaction was like I had said there were bunnies living on the moon. The guy's eyes went wide and his eyebrows skyrocketed. Only for a second though, because then his face went blank and he stared off into one of the very white and boring walls.

"You do not know who I am."

"_No_." It wasn't a question but I answered as I pushed some hair out of my face - hadn't I just chopped it off so people wouldn't know I was a girl on stage? "If you don't let me _go,_I'll call for the police."

"There are no police here," He commented quickly and turned his head back the way he'd dragged me, "I would appreciate it if you were quiet the next minute and a half."

That's when I heard the footsteps and another man came into view. That's when I realized that there was something wrong with this place that I was in. This one had dyed his hair baby blue and was as buff as could be. Hair and muscle was fine, that was personal expression, it was the freaking _hole_in the middle of his stomach that had a tiny bit of an effect on me. My knees went into a jelly state, my jaw dropped, and I sat down there on the floor, staring.

And this was before I noticed he had a jaw bone for a cheek.

"Grimmjow," the guy holding onto my wrist sighed, "why are you here?"

Grimmjow, who didn't apparently notice that he was missing half his organs, scowled, "Can't I be here without a reason?"

"No."

I dragged my jaw from the floor long enough to raise my free hand and shakily point, "y-y-you have a hole in your stomach."

He looked down as if he had seen me for the first time, "Yeah? _Thanks_ Captain Obvious. Where's yours?"

The man above me cut in before I could go '_what'_? "ignore this trash."

"What's up with your princess Ulquiorra? She looks like she's gonna faint."

There was a hole in his stomach, why couldn't I be a bit surprised? Wait a second, I was a princess now? Where in the world was I? Or was this all a dream? It must be, why else would there be people walking around with holes in the stomachs? That's right. A dream. All of it.

"At this second, my _fraccion_ is highly drugged by mistake and now I must deal with the consequences," I stared up at this Ulquiorra. Dreaming? Yes. Drugged? No.

The blue haired one squinted up his face like he had just sucked on a lemon, "Yeah? Why did Aizen just tell me to tell you to inform Szeyal that he was needed because one of his experiments on _that one_ were done? Like completed on purpose?"

Sitting on the floor, listening to two people that were talking about stuff that I didn't understand, or frankly care about, was not on my to-do list. I turned my wrist to see if I could maybe just pull out without my captor noticing till it was too late. There was a tiny bit of hope.

Bracing myself, I threw myself away from Ulquiorra. Nope. Instead, he glanced down as I started to move. His hand shot out of nowhere and jabbed somewhere into my neck. Only then did he let me go.

Too bad I didn't understandwhat he had done quicker, because then I probably wouldn't have landed on my nose unconscious.

* * *

><p>Waking up with a sword to your neck is not fun.<p>

Trust me because now I knew it firsthand. The pale guy had apparently dragged me into some cramped storage room and dumped me on something that looked like a chair but felt like cardboard. There was a headache that was eating at the back of my skull. I did not feel like having a long piece of metal shoved up against my neck either, thank you very much.

Psycho with the white face didn't give me the chance to express my feelings, "You will answer three questions and do what I command then and only then will I allow you to go home."

I squinted down the length of metal, "Wow. A sword. Did you know that a gun is a bit more… you know… advanced?"

"First question: What is your name and how old are you?" He blinked away my comment and surged into my interrogation. Leaning back as far as I could, I juggled my options until I came to a conclusion. Dreams were dreams, why not play along?

"Sola Kiri, I'm seventeen, actually I'm turning eighteen in a couple months," I shoved out the data, "can you _please_put the sword away? Have you ever thought that it might be a bit distressing?"

Ulquiorra mulled over the question and slowly put the oversized knife away and asked question #2, "What is the date?"

"December 30th," I took a second to look at the room closer. There were two different doors and both of them were closed. Who knew which one lead out or probably more correct, who knew which one would get me less lost.

"_Official_ date, trash."

Leaning forward, I didn't take these things well. "I'm sorry, did you just call me a piece of _garbage_?"

"You are a worthless item of existence, the sooner you accept it the less painful your life will be," Ulquiorra stated after a second of examining what he had just said. That was my philosophy lesson today, the world was nothing. How depressing. Along this train of thought was also the fact that rainclouds cry and everything you do is meaningless.

"Well, I don't think that I am worthless."

He sighed, "Let us agree to disagree, now answer the question."

I sat back, crossed my arms and shot out in one short burst, "December 30th 1904."

The silence was deafening. Ironic is that phrase was it was true. Just saying the date seemed to send this guy thinking and he just stared off in space like I wasn't here. I raised an eyebrow. I tapped a foot. I thought up getting up. I decided against it because psycho still had a sword.

"Look, I would like to get out of here," that's when I remember that the biggest event in my life might have happened without me, "I _need_to get out of here _now._ Actually no, how long was I out?"

The guy that had put me in all this trouble answered offhandedly, "About two hours."

Thankfully there would still be enough time. I missed the last bit of rehearsing before the show and the warm up but if I got there now, I could still pull it off. Pushing of the chair thing, I walked up to Ulquiorra.

"Ask your question, tell me what to do, whatever, get me out of here."

He looked down at me, "I do not need the answer to my last question. Come with me now."

Ulquiorra walked to the door to the right and I followed. I didn't know now if this was a dream or not but I couldn't risk it not being one. Opening the door, I peeked inside and promptly became confused. There in the middle of the room stood a huge black, at least grand sized piano. The musical instrument looked like it had just gotten the works, dusted, polished and the keys washed. It yawned open and sat there like some content dog.

"Okay, so there's a huge piano in there. That's nice," I pulled my head back, "now what?"

He walked past me into the room and put a hand on the thing, "You are going to play this."

I froze at the doorstep and stared, "_what?"_

A couple hundred million thoughts went through my head that second. How did he know that I could play the piano? Or that I had any piece memorized? Or that I could even do anything related to music? Better to summarize, was he _crazy_?

Calling the psycho crazy wouldn't roll over very well, I rephrased. "No."

"You did not hear me. That was not a question."

"_You_ heard me," I entered the room, laid both my hands on the beautiful black top and talked into the reflection, "why should I play? I play music for my own reasons. There's only one reason that I create my music, it's not something that I do on command, a whim, of a person."

"Play."

"You really can't do that," I moved down the instrument. It was like I was attracted to it as if it needed my touch to be there in that spot. Running my fingers down the side, I could feel that it was the most expensive thing that I have ever seen.

Ulquiorra watched me and placed both hands in his pockets, "play."

"Meh," by then I was practically facing those white keys. I rubbed the back of my head, trying to feel where my headache was pounding.

"_Play,_" For once, his voice seemed to lose that hard edge.

I shrugged; the temptation was too much. I pulled back the seat and placed my fingers on the smooth keys. It had to be out of tune, the stuff down here was dusty, old and withered. The wood itself had to be warped. My fingers played a note and it sang in response. The note sounded correct, unlike the painful screech I was waiting for.

"It's tuned," I looked up at him.

"It was fully tuned five hours ago."

I shook my head and played a little ditty. It was a good piece of wood. Once that song had rolled away, I sat back and sighed.

"Ok, I played. Now can I go?"

Ulquiorra looked at the belly of the beast, the hammers and wires all set up right. "No… play the song that you will play tonight."

"Come on, I don't have time."

"Now, and do not skip a single part, you must finish it fully and completely. Then it's over."

I shook my head and tried a note. Before I knew it soon the whole song was rolling out. My fingers didn't feel like they were pressing on keys but more touching on the mood of the piece. The song cried and sang. My mind dived into the song and I lost myself. The rolling happiness came into my mind, the rhythm rose and fell and the notes turned into this pure beauty.

Then it was gone.

All emotion was gone in that hole in my chest.

I was dead again.

The music stopped.

It was over.

I was sitting at a very stiff chair and staring at a block of wood. Not that I wasn't happy not to have some sane thought but I did not expect to be in the _basement_of all places. I looked up at the Espada that was looking at my face like I had something on it.

"_What?_" I narrowed my eyes and then several thought shot through my head. "Actually, never mind, what am I doing here? Why am I at a piano? Why I am so tired? Scrap that, why am I _sane_?"

It was the first time there was a hint of relief in that trash-loving Arracar's face. "All those questions are irrelevant."

I shakily pushed on the keys to get myself up and it groaned in response, "oops."

That's when my legs went all noodles and I tumbled off the seat and practically into Ulquiorra's arms. Another oops. For once, I did not care. My whole body felt like stone. My head rolled back on it's own until I was starting up at Ulquiorra's chin. I thought about somehow dragging myself off the Espada. My limbs weren't listening anymore. The world closed as my eyes dipped shut.

Ulquiorra sighed in disdain, I felt the basement disappear to be replaced with my room. The next second my bed came up to eat me.

I rolled over on the covers and blinked up at Ulquiorra, "how did you know...?"

He looked down, annoyed, "you shouldn't ask such questions."

"Well, I am."

"There was a time… I was becoming who you became," Ulquiorra watched my eyes flop open and closed, "but I unlike you, I was intelligent enough to overcome it."

"That's-that's nice," big yawn, I stretched and pulled up the cover.

"Such trash, I don't know why I bothered fixing you."

"You care, that's why," I closed my eyes, turned over and dropped away into sleep.

Too bad I never heard Ulquiorra Schiffer's response to my comment.

It could have been the most heartfelt thing he'd ever say.

Or he could have just told me that I was trash.

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><p><strong>Thanks to .13, Shiningheart of ThunderClan, iDon'tLiveiWatchOthersLive, Winter 'neechan, Rose202, and TheCrimsonKiss for reviewing! Wow...I was <strong>not** expecting that! Why are you awesome people paying such attention to little old me? Thanks to Rose202 who literally**** made this chapter so you could read it.**

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><p><em>Which one do you think it was? Trash or a heartfelt comment? :) <em>

_Actually I hated this chapter. Still kinda do, perfectionism is an awful thing. Humor next week though! Can it be true?_

_Thank you,_

_Review?_

_Quin_

_Kubo Tite=Everything here minus Sola/Human Sola (Quinhywvar, but you knew that already)_


	15. The Short Life of An Expensive Laptop

**The Short Life of an Expensive Laptop**

There was only one or two times in my short and rather _uneventful _life that I ever saw Ulquiorra Schiffer loose a tiny bit off that thing called "composure". These things were quite, well, interesting to see. Honestly, I thought that I would be the first to break that wall.

I wasn't.

Cheers to the thing that the Quatro lost his composure too. I never saw it coming.

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><p>I busted in his room, happier than usual for 6 AM, "Ulquiorra! Guess what <em>I <em>have you?"

"Your resignation slip?" Ulquiorra flipped over the form that he was working on. He didn't even look up to see what I had in my hands. I frowned as I kicked the door closed behind me. Someone hadn't sipped his tea yet.

"No, but I can only imagine how much you would like it if that was the reason that I was here."

Scrawling on, he calmly answered, "I refuse to answer such idiotic questions about human emotions."

"_Right_," I launched straight into the reason that I was here, "I have something that's going to rock your world, Ulquiorra."

The form done, he set down the pen and actually looked up for the first time, "I would rather _not _have my lifestyle changed. Whoever gave you that stupid phrase 'rock your world' has as much intelligence as you do. It is completely illogical."

I dumped the longish box on his lap. "This is going to be your new evolution into the wonderful world of time efficiently and hopefully less grumpiness."

The colorful box grinned up at the frown. This would not have been my first reaction to getting a state-of-the-art and fancy laptop that could do back flips. My personal response would have been more along the lines of opening the box. Instead, Ulquiorra glared at it like he wanted to set it on fire.

"What insolence is this?"

Nor would that be my response.

I looked at his face as he conducted a mini stare down with the cardboard. "This would be a laptop that has more power in it than in your pinky."

The Espada mulled it over for a second and then pushed the gift far across the table as he could, "return it, I do not need it."

"I'm sorry, but _what_?"

Ulquiorra took up his pen and started on a report, "I do not need the computer, take it away."

Looking at the box, I crossed the area from the pen and paper a couple hundred times. "You are telling me that you would rather choose not to evolve and waste hundreds of hours a day handwriting those things? Are you _crazy_?"

"This is not up for discussion," the paper turned over and his pen continued to glide across it.

"It should be."

"Yet, it is not," he replied calmly, "now remove it from my desk."

"It should be."

"Yet, it is not," he replied calmly.

Setting both hands on the box, I smiled sweetly, "I suppose I'll return this to Lord Aizen and tell him that you declined his gift of recognition because it wasn't good enough. I am sure that he'll be overjoyed to hear that."

I grabbed the box and swayed over towards the door. The silence was impressive. Then came the sigh. That was enough for me, I turned around with the mighty laptop on my hands.

"...bring it here."

I really didn't know what made Ulquiorra tick when it came to Lord Aizen. He just did what he said, no questions asked. To think that it was something called "respect" was the only thing that I knew I could clearly cross off the list. I didn't dare ask him since I wanted my head to stay on my neck.

By the time these thoughts had run their course, the box was back in Ulquiorra's hands. He popped open the cardboard and carefully pulled the smaller metal box out. It was shiny and smelled completely new. He just stared at it on the table like a virus.

"You should open it," I was hovering over his shoulder.

Ulquiorra glared, "I know what I need to do trash."

He pried it open and searched for the power button. It was big and had the correct symbol on it but it seemed that the Espada couldn't find it. I was extremely tempted to push it. Then, Ulquiorra's finger dive bombed it. Since the on button was staying down even though he had stopped pressing it, Ulquiorra's computer was on for the rest of its little life.

His frown was getting bigger and bigger and I swear there was a huge rain cloud starting to form over our heads. The screen sang on and a pretty little lights started circling. A "please wait while computer sets up" hovered around the dots.

"We also bought you a printer so you can print things out, but you'll have to set it up too," I watched his frown turn into a scowl. The screen switched before he responded.

"_Please enter Username,"_ the computer stated.

Ulquiorra's eyes narrowed at the new task. He stared typing.

In the bar the letters started forming:

S

C

I

...

F

F

I looked up, wondering why it was taking him so long. His fingers were going one at a time, he was pecking at the keys.

Ulquiorra Schiffer was typing with two fingers.

E

R

...

This went on for ten minutes until the long statement, Schiffer, Ulquiorra, Quatro Espada of Lord Aizen's Army. I decided not to mention that this was his username. Thankfully, he pressed enter. The poor laptop hummed a bit then another screen came up.

"_Please name this hard drive."_

T

R

A

S

H

Of course, Ulquiorra just named his new laptop trash.

Again, Trash thought about it for a second and then another screen popped up. Ulquiorra's eyebrows seemed to be climbing across each other. I didn't bother telling him that there was a better way to type things.

"_Please name your__ computer,__" _the laptop asked, oops, he had named the hard drive not the actual computer.

Ulquiorra was not happy with this, but he didn't say anything.

T

R

A

S

H

He pressed enter but a little screen came up instead, "I'm sorry, but you cannot name your hard drive and your computer the same thing." It popped away as soon as it had come.

For the first time, I could feel his spiritual pressure expand. He sat back and glared at the screen. After a couple seconds, he redoubled his efforts.

TRASH-TRASH

The computer thought for a second and then the little screen popped up again, "I'm sorry but you cannot have any symbols (hyphens, commas, etc.) in your computer's name." It escaped before Ulquiorra could close it.

I was really trying not to laugh at this point.

Ulquiorra tried again:

TRASHX2

The computer's little screen came up but he closed it before it could completely load.

TRASH1234

TRASHx10

HSART6

TRSH

TR$#

¥?'$;-)6

All of the above did not take.

Finally, Ulquiorra started to lose his composure. I was dying trying to keep the laughter down. Not that I was much better with computers, but I could manage to follow simple instructions. Finally one name took and the laptop started to think once again. The screen popped up once again.

"_This is your information Schiffer, Ulquiorra, Quatro Espada of Lord Aizen's Army,_

_You named your hard drive TRASH and the computer TRASHYTRASHTRASHTRASHTRASH_

_Is this O.K.?__"_

I supposed that this wasn't O.K. since the next second the new laptop went flying into the air and was ceroed.

I stared at the ashes as they floated to the floor and said the first thing on my mind, "I suppose that printer should be returned."

Ulquiorra stiffly turned back to his paper and pen. "Yes. You shall do that."

I didn't leave. I galloped out, laughing hard. Who knew for all the "greatness" of Ulquiorra Schiffer, he couldn't deal with a small metal box?

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><p><strong>Thanks to Vheeri , Shiningheart of ThunderClan, HatakeRules, Rose202, Winter 'neechan, and . 13 for reviewing! Thanks goes to Rose202 who not only edited this once but<strong> twice.

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><p><em>HOLY SCHNOODLE! When in the world did this story get FIFTY reviews? I was NOT expecting this. This is a <em>drabble_ series, basically random events strung together because of one character! I-what-this-no... *sigh* I really don't know what I did to _deserve_ it but thank you._

_I really mean it, thank you._

_Because of this unexpected landmark, I'm opening up for requests what will happen in the next chapter! _

_What would you like Sola to do? An event, an idea, anything, you can give me a single key word to go off of or a whole plot. Tell me in a review or a PM, but note that I can only really chose one idea. I may take a couple parts from others and try to add them in. As per usual, I will not do pairings or romance but anything else will most probably fly._

_...so my amazing readers, what _do _you want to see next?_

_Thanks again,_

_Quin_

_Kubo Tite=Ulquiorra Quinhwyvar=Sola and the ashes of the poor laptop_


	16. Easter

**AN: This is what I have to post this weekend. There has been a family emergency on my end and my dad is in the hospital right now. I hope you understand if you see any grammar errors, I just do not have time to check this. Please do not worry, everything looks like it is going to be fine.**

**Happy Easter.**

Since my fiasco with other holidays, Lord Aizen decided to just accept that his heartless and emotionless monsters wanted to celebrate holidays. Because of this, we now got a shipment of goodies for that specific day. This time is seemed to be Easter. Somehow I had snagged a bag of sweets and now I was attempting to get Ulquiorra to _interact_ for once in his life.

I shook the multicolored bag in Ulquiorra's much annoyed face, "You _are _chicken."

"No," He sighed as his pen was set to rest in the pot, "to eat such things while not knowing what flavor you may be eating does not appeal to me in the least."

Dumping the bag out on his desk, I snagged a dark green jelly bean and popped it in my mouth, "See? They're not…"an explosion of sweet tartness met my tongue, "not _that_ bad. I just got watermelon."

The Espada looked down at his now covered desk, "Why must you always interfere with my personal space?"

I munched on another that I had a sneaking suspicion was cinnamon, "I'm your fraccion."

"That does not mean you have an obligation to …do this," Ulquiorra brushed the beans into a pile, distinctively plunging into distain. I was so used to it that I just grinned in response and popped another one. Coffee went off like a bomb on my taste buds. Keeping my face straight, I noted to pay a bit more attention.

Ulquiorra thankfully did not noticed and after a second, spoke, "Listen trash, this is what is going to happen. I will eat two beans and then you and your candy will leave."

"Sure," there was no part of that to agree with, but hey, who asked us if we wanted to be undead?

The Espada examined the pile and carefully pulled out a very black piece. I watched as he took it up like he was looking for a sign of infection or if the thing was going to eat him from the inside out. Twisting it this way and that, finally he deemed it worthy for his stomach and popped. I don't think it was an awful flavor by the way he chewed.

"Well?"

Ulquiorra didn't answer. Instead, he took the top bean and without a thought, tossed it in with the other. I barely had a second to notice the color but I could feel my stomach twist. Brown. Pink, Yellow, Green dotted brown. There was a warning on the bag, the worst candy in them all. Vomit.

That couldn't be good for digestion.

Luckily for him, it didn't get that far. His face twitched ever-so slightly and his eyes narrowed across the desk. Whatever was going on in his mouth was not making him happy. I winced. Slowly, he swallowed.

"I…I'll just go now."

Ulquiorra Schiffer lifted the pen stiffly, "As you were ordered. Do not come back for the rest of this holiday."

"Sure."


End file.
